Chinese -- England -- Fiction; England -- Fiction; Epistolary fiction; Humorous stories
and milder form of torture, known as the “task”, consisting either of
sharp-edged stones being broken upon the body, or else the body broken
upon sharp-edged stones, but precisely which is the official etiquette
of the case this person’s insatiable passion for accuracy and his
short-sighted limitations among the more technical outlines of the
language, prevent him from stating definitely.
Let it here be openly confessed that the intricately-arranged titles
used among these islanders, and the widely-varying dignities which they
convey, have never ceased to embarrass my greetings on all occasions,
and even yet, when a more crystal insight into their strangely illogical
manners enables me not only to understand them clearly myself, but
also to expound their significance to others, a necessary reticence is
blended with my most profuse cordiality, and my salutations to one whom
I am for the first time encountering are now so irreproachably balanced,
that I can imperceptibly develop them into an engaging effusion, or,
without actual offence, draw back into a condition of unapproachable
exclusiveness as the necessity may arise. With us, O my immaculate sire,
a yellow silk umbrella has for three thousand years denoted a fixed and
recognisable title. A mandarin of the sixth degree need not hesitate to
mingle on terms of assured equality with other mandarins of the sixth
degree, and without any guide beyond a seemly instinct he perceives
the reasonableness of assuming a deferential obsequiousness before a
mandarin of the fifth rank, and a counterbalancing arrogance when in the
society of an official who has only risen to the seventh degree, thus
conforming to that essential principle of harmonious intercourse,
“Remember that Chang Chow’s ceiling is Tong Wi’s floor”; but who shall
walk with even footsteps in a land where the most degraded may legally
bear the same distinguished name as that of the enlightened sovereign
himself, where the admittedly difficult but even more purposeless
achievement of causing a gold mine to float is held to be more
praiseworthy than to pass a competitive examination or to compose a
poem of inimitable brilliance, and where one wearing gilt buttons and an
emblem in his hat proves upon ingratiating approach not to be a powerful
official but a covetous and illiterate slave of inferior rank?
Thus, through their own narrow-minded inconsistencies, even the most
ceremoniously-proficient may at times present an ill-balanced attitude.
This, without reproach to himself, concerns the inward cause whereby
the one who is placed to you in the relation of an affectionate and
ever-resourceful son found unexpectedly that he had lost the benignant
full face of a lady of exalted title.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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