The servants ushered the company in, Heigho! says Gobble; The dinner is ready, quoth Tom, with a grin, So he tucked a napkin under his chin, With his handy dandy, bacon and gravy, Ah, hah, says alderman Gobble, Then Betty the cook-maid she gave a squall, Heigho! says Gobble; Poor John the footman has had a fall, And down stairs tumbled, ven'son and all, With his handy dandy, bacon and gravy, Alas! says alderman Gobble. So down the alderman ran in a fright, Heigho! says Gobble; And there sat John in a terrible plight Astride on the ven'son _bolt upright_, With his handy dandy, bacon and gravy, Dear me! says alderman Gobble. Was ever man so cruelly put on, Heigho! says Gobble; Get off the meat you rascally glutton, You've made my ven'son a saddle of mutton, With your handy dandy, bacon and gravy, Good lack, says alderman Gobble. Lord, sir, says Betty, what a _splash_, Heigho! says Gobble; 'Tis a monstrous bad _rumbistical_ crash, But tomorrow I'll tickle it up in a hash, With your handy dandy, bacon and gravy, Ay, do! says alderman Gobble. This vile, low, degrading farrago is taken from an opera called the Russian Impostor, or Siege of Sloremskho. After such trash it will be delightful to turn to some lines, written by lord Byron on this general subject of complaint. They are extracted from an excellent poem entitled "English Bards and Scotch Reviewers, a Satire," with notes by the author.