_Countrym._ My wife be a pains-taking woman, sir. We ha' had this poor dog from a puppy. _O'Ded._ Shut your ugly mouth, you babbler.--Six children! Oh! we must make an example of this fellow. An't I the village lawyer? and an't I the terror of all the rogues of the parish? (_aside to him._) You must plead "not guilty." _Countrym._ But I tell you, if that be guilt, I _be_ guilty. _O'Ded._ Why, you blundering booby, if you plead guilty, how will I ever be able to prove you innocent? _Countrym._ Guilty or innocent, I'll have the law of him, by gum. He has shot my poor old mongrel, and taken away my musket; and I've lost my day's drilling, and I'll make him pay for it. _O'Ded._ A mongrel and a musket! by St. Patrick, Mr. Gamekeeper, and you have nately set your foot in it. _Gamekeeper._ Why, sir, its a bad affair, sir. 'Twas so dark, I couldn't see; and when I discovered my mistake, I offered him a shilling to make it up, and he refused it. _O'Ded._ (_aside to gamekeeper._) Harkye, Mr. Gamekeeper; he has one action against ye for his dog, and another for false imprisonment. (_aloud_) I love to see the laws enforced with justice: (_aside_) but I'll always help a poor man to stand up against oppression. (_to gamekeeper_) He has got you on the hip, and so go out and settle it between yourselves, and do _you_ take care of yourself: (_to countryman_) and do _you_ make the best of your bargain. [_Exeunt._ Parish officer _brings forward the_ sailor. _Officer._ Here's a vagrant. I found him begging without a pass. _O'Ded._ Take him before his worship directly. The sturdy rogue ought to be punished. _Sailor._ Please your honour, I'm a sailor. _O'Ded._ And if you're a sailor, an't you ashamed to own it? A begging sailor is a disgrace to an honourable profession, for which the country has provided an asylum as glorious as it is deserved. _Sailor._ Why so it has: but I an't bound for Greenwich yet. _O'Ded._ (_aside to him._) Why, you're disabled, I see. _Sailor._ Disabled! What for? Why I've only lost _one_ arm yet. Bless ye, I'm no beggar. I was going to see my Nancy, thirty miles further on the road, and meeting some old messmates, we had a cann o' grog together. One cann brought on another, and then we got drinking the king's health, and the navy, and then _this_ admiral, and then _t'other_ admiral, till at last we had so many gallant heroes to drink, that we were all drunk afore we came to the reckoning; so, your honour, as my messmates had none of the rhino, I paid all; and then, you know, they had a long journey upwards, and no biscuit aboard; so I lent one a little, and another a little, till at last I found I had no coin left in my locker for myself, except a cracked teaster that Nancy gave me; and I couldn't spend that, you know, though I had been starving. _O'Ded._ And so you begged!