_Pon._ Sir--for heaven's sake!--you'll shake nothing more out of me, depend on't--if you'll be pleased to pause a moment, I'll think of an answer. _Charles._ It requires no recollection to say whether you were a witness-- _Pon._ No indeed, sir, ask my master if I was; besides if I had been, my conscience wouldn't let me disclose it. _Charles._ Your conscience! good, and you're articled to an attorney! _Pon._ True, sir, but there's a deal of conscience in our office; if my master knew I betrayed his secrets even to you, I believe (in conscience,) he'd hang me if he could. _Charles._ If my old friend O'Dedimus proves a rogue at last, I shan't wonder that you have followed his example. _Pon._ No, sir, for I always follow my master's example, even though it should be in the path of roguery; compliment apart sir, I always followed yours. _Charles._ Puppy, you trifle with my patience. _Pon._ No indeed, sir, I never play with edg'd tools. _Charles._ You wont acknowledge it then. _Pon._ Yes, sir, I'll acknowledge the truth, but I scorn a lie. _Charles._ 'Tis true I always thought you honest. I have ever trusted you, Ponder, even as a friend: I do not believe you capable of deceiving me. _Pon._ Sir, (_gulping_) I can't swallow that! it choaks me (_falling on his knees_); forgive me, dear master that _was_; your threats I could withstand, your violence I could bear, but your kindness and good opinion there is no resisting; promise you wont betray me. _Charles._ So; now it comes. I do. _Pon._ Then, sir, the whole truth shall out, they _are_ married, sir, and they are _not_ married, sir. _Charles._ Enigma too! _Pon._ Yes, sir, they are married, but the priest was ordained by my master, and the license was of his own granting, and so they are not married, and now the enigma's explained. _Charles._ Your master then is a villain! _Pon._ I don't know, sir, that puzzles me: but he's such an honest follow I can hardly think him a rogue--though I fancy, sir, between ourselves, he's like the rest of the world, half and half, or like punch, sir, a mixture of opposites. _Charles._ So! villany has been thriving in my absence. If you feel the attachment you profess why did you not confide this to me before? _Pon._ Sir, truth to speak, I did not tell you, because, knowing the natural gentleness of your disposition, which I have so often admired, I was alarmed, lest the sudden shock should cause one of those irascible fits, which I have so often witnessed, and produce some of those shakes and buffets, which to my unspeakable astonishment, I have so often experienced. _Charles._ And which, I can tell you, you have now so narrowly escaped. _Pon._ True sir, I have escaped as narrowly as a felon who gets his reprieve five minutes _after_ execution. _Charles._ Something must be done. I am involved in a quarrel with Helen too! curse on my irritable temper. _Pon._ So I say, sir--try and mend it; pray do.