“In truth, I know not: You ask me a question which I cannot resolve
myself. I was on the point of mentioning him a thousand times: His name
was constantly upon my lips, but when I would have pronounced it, I
wanted courage to execute my design. However, if I did not speak of
him, it was not that I thought of him the less.”
“That I believe; But shall I tell you why you wanted courage? It was
because, accustomed to confide to me your most secret thoughts, you
knew not how to conceal, yet feared to acknowledge, that your heart
nourished a sentiment which you were conscious I should disapprove.
Come hither to me, my Child.”
Antonia quitted her embroidery frame, threw herself upon her knees by
the Sopha, and hid her face in her Mother’s lap.
“Fear not, my sweet Girl! Consider me equally as your Friend and
Parent, and apprehend no reproof from me. I have read the emotions of
your bosom; you are yet ill-skilled in concealing them, and they could
not escape my attentive eye. This Lorenzo is dangerous to your repose;
He has already made an impression upon your heart. ’Tis true that I
perceive easily that your affection is returned; But what can be the
consequences of this attachment? You are poor and friendless, my
Antonia; Lorenzo is the Heir of the Duke of Medina Celi. Even should
Himself mean honourably, his Uncle never will consent to your union;
Nor without that Uncle’s consent, will I. By sad experience I know what
sorrows She must endure, who marries into a family unwilling to receive
her. Then struggle with your affection: Whatever pains it may cost you,
strive to conquer it. Your heart is tender and susceptible: It has
already received a strong impression; But when once convinced that you
should not encourage such sentiments, I trust, that you have sufficient
fortitude to drive them from your bosom.”
Antonia kissed her hand, and promised implicit obedience. Elvira then
continued.
“To prevent your passion from growing stronger, it will be needful to
prohibit Lorenzo’s visits. The service which He has rendered me permits
not my forbidding them positively; But unless I judge too favourably of
his character, He will discontinue them without taking offence, if I
confess to him my reasons, and throw myself entirely on his generosity.
The next time that I see him, I will honestly avow to him the
embarrassment which his presence occasions. How say you, my Child? Is
not this measure necessary?”
Antonia subscribed to every thing without hesitation, though not
without regret. Her Mother kissed her affectionately, and retired to
bed. Antonia followed her example, and vowed so frequently never more
to think of Lorenzo, that till Sleep closed her eyes She thought of
nothing else.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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