I started back in terror. The Domina descended into the Vault, as did
also her Companions. She bent upon me a stern resentful eye, but
expressed no surprize at finding me still living. She took the seat
which I had just quitted: The door was again closed, and the Nuns
ranged themselves behind their Superior, while the glare of their
torches, dimmed by the vapours and dampness of the Vault, gilded with
cold beams the surrounding Monuments. For some moments all preserved a
dead and solemn silence. I stood at some distance from the Prioress. At
length She beckoned me to advance. Trembling at the severity of her
aspect my strength scarce sufficed me to obey her. I drew near, but my
limbs were unable to support their burthen. I sank upon my knees; I
clasped my hands, and lifted them up to her for mercy, but had no power
to articulate a syllable.
She gazed upon me with angry eyes.
“Do I see a Penitent, or a Criminal?” She said at length; “Are those
hands raised in contrition for your crimes, or in fear of meeting their
punishment? Do those tears acknowledge the justice of your doom, or
only solicit mitigation of your sufferings? I fear me, ’tis the
latter!”
She paused, but kept her eye still fixt upon mine.
“Take courage;” She continued: “I wish not for your death, but your
repentance. The draught which I administered, was no poison, but an
opiate. My intention in deceiving you was to make you feel the agonies
of a guilty conscience, had Death overtaken you suddenly while your
crimes were still unrepented. You have suffered those agonies: I have
brought you to be familiar with the sharpness of death, and I trust
that your momentary anguish will prove to you an eternal benefit. It is
not my design to destroy your immortal soul; or bid you seek the grave,
burthened with the weight of sins unexpiated. No, Daughter, far from
it: I will purify you with wholesome chastisement, and furnish you with
full leisure for contrition and remorse. Hear then my sentence; The
ill-judged zeal of your Friends delayed its execution, but cannot now
prevent it. All Madrid believes you to be no more; Your Relations are
thoroughly persuaded of your death, and the Nuns your Partizans have
assisted at your funeral. Your existence can never be suspected; I have
taken such precautions, as must render it an impenetrable mystery. Then
abandon all thoughts of a World from which you are eternally separated,
and employ the few hours which are allowed you, in preparing for the
next.”
This exordium led me to expect something terrible. I trembled, and
would have spoken to deprecate her wrath: but a motion of the Domina
commanded me to be silent. She proceeded.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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