Flore had turned her head, and looked at the stars shining in the
serenity of this spring night.
"Ten minutes past three," she murmured. "Another five hours, and they
will pass."
She would begin over again; her suffering was too great. To see them
like this each week was more than her strength could bear. Now that
she was sure of not having Jacques to herself alone, she preferred
that he should no longer exist, that there should be nothing. And the
aspect of this lugubrious room, where she sat watching, imbued her with
mournful suffering, and made her feel an increasing need to annihilate
everything. As there remained no one who loved her, the others could go
with her mother. As for corpses, there would be more and more still,
and they could carry them all away at the same time. Her sister was
dead, her mother was dead, her love was dead. What could she do? Remain
alone? Whether she stayed or left, she would always be alone, while the
others would be two together. No, no! let everything go to smash rather
than that. Let death, who was there in this room, blow on the line and
sweep the people away.
Then, with her mind made up after this long debate with herself,
she proceeded to think out the best way of putting her design into
execution. And she returned to the idea of removing a rail. This would
be the surest and most practical plan, and could be easily carried out;
she had only to drive away the chairs with a hammer, and then raise the
rail from the sleepers. She had the tools. Nobody would see her in this
deserted district. A good spot to select would certainly be beyond the
cutting, on the way to Barentin, at the curve which crossed a dale on
an embankment thirty or thirty-five feet high. There the train would
for sure run off the line, and the fall would be terrible.
But the calculation of time, which then occupied her, made her anxious.
On the up-line, before the Havre express came by at 8.16, there was
only a slow train at 7.55. This would therefore give her twenty minutes
to do the work, which was sufficient. Only, between the regular trains,
they often dispatched others that were unforeseen, loaded with goods,
particularly at moments when quantities of cargo arrived. Then what
a useless risk she would be incurring! How could she tell beforehand
whether it would be the express that would come to smash there? For a
long time she turned the probabilities over in her head. It was still
night. The candle continued to burn, bathed in tallow, with a long,
smutty wick which she had ceased to snuff.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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