“You’ll never really dislike me so long as I give you the opportunity
to get off a good thing now and then.”
I had to bite my lip to prevent myself from laughing. What he said had
a hateful truth in it, and another defect of my character is that I
enjoy the company of those, however depraved, who can give me a Roland
for my Oliver. I began to feel that my abhorrence for Strickland could
only be sustained by an effort on my part. I recognised my moral
weakness, but saw that my disapprobation had in it already something of
a pose; and I knew that if I felt it, his own keen instinct had
discovered it, too. He was certainly laughing at me up his sleeve. I
left him the last word, and sought refuge in a shrug of the shoulders
and taciturnity.
Chapter XLI
We arrived at the house in which I lived. I would not ask him to come
in with me, but walked up the stairs without a word. He followed me,
and entered the apartment on my heels. He had not been in it before,
but he never gave a glance at the room I had been at pains to make
pleasing to the eye. There was a tin of tobacco on the table, and,
taking out his pipe, he filled it. He sat down on the only chair that
had no arms and tilted himself on the back legs.
“If you’re going to make yourself at home, why don’t you sit in an
arm-chair?” I asked irritably.
“Why are you concerned about my comfort?”
“I’m not,” I retorted, “but only about my own. It makes me
uncomfortable to see someone sit on an uncomfortable chair.”
He chuckled, but did not move. He smoked on in silence, taking no
further notice of me, and apparently was absorbed in thought. I
wondered why he had come.
Until long habit has blunted the sensibility, there is something
disconcerting to the writer in the instinct which causes him to take an
interest in the singularities of human nature so absorbing that his
moral sense is powerless against it. He recognises in himself an
artistic satisfaction in the contemplation of evil which a little
startles him; but sincerity forces him to confess that the disapproval
he feels for certain actions is not nearly so strong as his curiosity
in their reasons. The character of a scoundrel, logical and complete,
has a fascination for his creator which is an outrage to law and order.
I expect that Shakespeare devised Iago with a gusto which he never knew
when, weaving moonbeams with his fancy, he imagined Desdemona. It may
be that in his rogues the writer gratifies instincts deep-rooted in
him, which the manners and customs of a civilised world have forced
back to the mysterious recesses of the subconscious. In giving to the
character of his invention flesh and bones he is giving life to that
part of himself which finds no other means of expression. His
satisfaction is a sense of liberation.
The writer is more concerned to know than to judge.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account