The date on which the concert party sailed was already fixed; leaving a
bare month in which to accomplish the necessary preparations, and the
time seemed positively to fly. Nan evaded taking part in the shopping
expeditions which filled the days for Penelope and Kitty, since each
new purchase, each frail, chiffony frock or beribboned box which
arrived from dressmaker or milliner, served only to remind her that the
approaching parting with Penelope was drawing nearer.
In women's friendships there must always come a big wrench when one or
other of two friends meets the man who is her mate. The old, tried
friendship retreats suddenly into second place--sometimes for a little
while it almost seems as though it had petered out altogether. But
when once the plunge has been taken, and the strangeness and wonder and
glory of the new life have become ordinary and commonplace with the
sweet commonness of dear, familiar, daily things, then the old
friendship comes stealing back--deeper and more understanding, perhaps,
than in the days before one of the two friends had come into her
woman's kingdom.
Nan sat staring into the fire--for the first breath of autumn had
already chilled the air--trying to realise that to-day was actually the
eve of Penelope's wedding-day. It seemed incredible--even more
incredible that Kitty and she should have gone off laughing together to
see about some detail of the next day's arrangements which had been
overlooked.
She was suddenly conscious that if this were the eve of her own
marriage with Roger laughter would be far enough away from her.
Regarded dispassionately, her decision to marry him because she
couldn't marry the man she loved, seemed rather absurd and illogical.
It was like going into a library and, having discovered that the book
which you required was out, accepting one you didn't really want
instead--just because the librarian, who knew nothing whatever about
your tastes in literature, had offered it to you. You always began the
substitute hopefully and generally ended up by being thoroughly bored
with it and marvelling how on earth anybody could possibly have found
it interesting! Nan wondered if she would get bored with her
substituted volume.
She had rushed recklessly into her engagement, regarding marriage with
Roger much as though it were a stout set of palings with "No Right of
Way" written across them in large letters. Outside, the waves of
emotion might surge in vain, while within, she and Roger would settle
down to the humdrum placidity of married life. But the dull, ceaseless
ache at her heart made her sometimes question whether anything in the
world could keep at bay the insistent claim of love.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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