Roger's frown relaxed a little. His threat to smash the piano sounded
foolish even in his own ears. But he hated the instrument none the
less, although without precisely knowing why. Subconsciously he was
aware that the real Nan still eluded him. She was his in the eyes of
the world--pledged to be his wife--yet he knew that although he might
possess her body it would bring him no nearer the possession of her
soul and spirit. That other man--the one for whom she had told him she
once cared--held those! Trenby was not given to psychological
analysis, but in a blind, bewildered fashion he felt that that thing of
wood and ivory and stretched strings represented in concrete form
everything that stood betwixt himself and Nan.
"Have I nothing else--_no one else_"--significantly---"to be jealous
of?" he demanded. "Answer me!"
With a swift movement he gripped her by the shoulder, forcing her to
face him again, his eyes still stormy. She winced involuntarily under
the pressure of his fingers, but forced herself to answer him.
"You know," she said quietly. "I told you when you asked me to be your
wife that--that there was--someone--for whom I cared. But, if you
believed _all_ I told you then--you know, too, that you have no reason
to be jealous."
"You mean because you can't marry him?"--moodily.
"Yes."
The brief reply acted like a spark to tinder. With a stifled
exclamation he caught her up in his arms, crushing his mouth down on
hers till her lips felt bruised beneath his kisses.
"It's not enough!" he said, his voice hoarse and shaken. "It's not
enough! I want you--the whole of you, Nan--Nan!"
For an instant she struggled against him--almost instinctively. Then,
remembering she had given him the right to kiss her if he chose, she
yielded, surrendering passively to the fierce tide of his passion.
"Kiss me!" he insisted hotly.
She kissed him obediently. But there was no warmth in her kiss, no
answering thrill, and the man knew it. He held her away from him, his
sudden passion chilled.
"Is that the best you can do?" he demanded, looking down at her with
something grimly ironic in his eyes. She steadied herself to meet his
glance.
"It is--really, Roger," she replied earnestly. "Oh!"--flushing
swiftly--"you must know it!"
"Yes"--with a shrug. "I suppose I ought to have known it. I'm only a
second string, after all."
There was so much bitterness in his voice that Nan's heart was touched
to a compassionate understanding.
"Ah! Don't speak like that!" she cried tremulously. "You know I'm
giving you all I can, Roger. I've been quite fair with you--quite
honest. I told you I had no love to give you, that I could never care
for anyone again,--like that. And you said you would be content," she
added with reproach.
"I know I did," he answered sullenly. "But I'm not. No man who loved
you would be content! . . . And I'm never sure of you. . . . You hate
it here--"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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