I was forgotten in the discussion which followed, and which lasted
till our arrival at a village, where one of them resided. He left,
telling us he was a "natral bone-setter." One by one the passengers
left the stage, and for the last five miles I was alone. I beguiled
the time by elaborating a multitude of trivial opinions, suggested by
objects I saw along the roadside, till the old and new church spires
of Surrey came in sight, and the curving lines at either end of the
ascending shores. We reached the point in the north road, where the
ground began its descent to the sea, and I hung from the window, to
see all the village roofs humble before it. The streets and dwellings
looked as insignificant as those of a toy village. I perceived no
movement in it, heard no hum of life. At a cross-road, which would
take the stage into the village without its passing our house, a whim
possessed me. I would surprise them at home, and go in at the back
door, while they were expecting to hear the stage. The driver let me
out, and I stood in the road till he was out of sight.
A breeze blew round me, penetrating, but silent; the fields, and the
distant houses which dotted them, were asleep in the pale sunshine,
undisturbed by it. The crows cawed, and flew over the eastern woods.
I walked slowly. The road was deserted. Mrs. Grossman's house was
the only one I must pass; its shutters were closed, and the yard was
empty. As I drew near home a violent haste grew upon me, yet my feet
seemed to impede my progress. They were like lead; I impelled myself
along, as in a dream. Under the protection of our orchard wall I
turned my merino mantle, which was lined with an indefinite color,
spread my veil over my bonnet, and bent my shoulders, and passed down
the carriage-drive, by the dining-room windows, into the stable-yard.
The rays of sunset struck the lantern-panes in the light-house, and
gave the atmosphere a yellow stain. The pigeons were skimming up and
down the roof of the wood-house, and cooing round the horses that were
in the yard. A boy was driving cows into the shed, whistling a lively
air; he suspended it when he saw me, but I shook my finger at him, and
ran in. Slipping into the side hall, I dropped my bonnet and shawl,
and listened at the door for the familiar voices. Mother must be
there, as was her wont, and Aunt Merce. All of them, perhaps, for
I had seen nobody on my way. There was no talking within. The last
sunset ray struck on my hand its yellow shade, through the fan-light,
and faded before I opened the door. I was arrested on the threshold by
a silence which rushed upon me, clutching me in a suffocating embrace.
Mother was in her chair by the fire, which was out, for the brands
were black, and one had fallen close to her feet. A white flannel
shawl covered her shoulders; her chin rested on her breast. "She
is ill, and has dropped asleep," I thought, thrusting my hands out,
through this terrible silence, to break her slumber, and looked at the
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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