I walked to Gloster Point, and rested under the lee of the lighthouse, but could not, when I made the attempt, see to read the inscription inside my watch, by the light of the lantern. I must have fallen asleep from fatigue, still holding it in my hand; for when I started homeward, there was a pale reflection of light in the east, and the sea was creeping quietly toward it with a murmuring morning song. CHAPTER XL. I looked across the bay from my window. "The snow is making 'Pawshee's Land' white again, and I remain this year the same. No change, no growth or development! The fulfillment of duty avails me nothing; and self-discipline has passed the necessary point." I struck the sash with my closed hand, for I would now give my life a new direction, and it was fettered. But I would be resolute, and break the fetters; had I not endured a "mute case" long enough? Manuel, who had been throwing snowballs against the house, stopped, and looked toward the gate, and then ran toward it. A pair of tired, splashed horses dashed down the drive. Manuel had the reins, and Ben was beside him, reeling slightly on the seat of the wagon. I ran down to meet him; he had been on a trip to Belem, where he never went except when he wanted money. "I have some news for you," he said, putting his arm in mine, as he jumped from the wagon. "Come in, and pull off my boots, Manuel." I brought a chair for him, and waited till his boots were off. "Bring me a glass of brandy." I stamped my foot. Verry entered with a book. "Ah, Verry, darling, come here." "Why do you drink brandy? Have you over-driven the horses?" He drank the brandy. She nodded kindly to him, shut her book, and slipped out, without approaching him. "That's _her_ way," he said, staring hard at me. "She always says in the same unmoved voice, 'Why do you drink brandy?'" "And then--she will not come to kiss you." "The child is dead, for the first thing. (Cigar, Manuel.) Second, I was possessed to come home by the way of Rosville. When did your father go away, Cass?" I felt faint, and sat down. "Ah, we _all_ have a weakness; does yours overcome you?" "He went three days ago." "I saw him at Alice Morgeson's." "Arthur?" "He didn't go to see Arthur. He will marry Alice, and I must build my house now." A devil ripped open my heart; its fragments flew all over me, blinding and deafening me. "He will be home to-night." "Very well." "What shall you say, Cassy?" "Expose that little weakness to him." "When will you learn real life?" "Please ask him, when he comes, if he will see me in my room." I waited there. My cup was filled at last. My sin swam on the top. Father came in smoking, and taking a chair between his legs, sat opposite me, and tapped softly the back of it with his fingers. "You sent for me?" "I wanted to tell you that Charles Morgeson loved me from the first, and you remember that I stayed by him to the last."