O! worst of states my soul ever was in; this deadness, carelessness, dull, stupid, heavy frame, I hate it, I lament it. Before this came on I could sigh deeply on account of my sins, their number, and destructive tendency, but now I have fresh fears that all is not right, because I don’t see sin such an evil as it is. I don’t groan beneath it; I don’t lament my vileness. Surely my soul cannot be right with God, while this is the case; the Grasshopper is a burden, because it is so light; I am burdened, because I don’t feel sin that heavy, hateful burden, I have felt it, and as others do.—Thus you see, my dear sister, what poor, foolish, fearful creatures we are, how discontented with the cross; when we feel much sin, we fear, and when we scarcely feel it at all, then we fear also. Alas, how much of poor Jonah’s spirit do we all possess. Murmuring, repining, rebelling. But I must mention a third source of _Fear_, _The failing of Desires_. The people of God are the objects of his desire; Christ saw them in the glass of the Father’s decrees and purposes. He desired them. Hence the Church triumphs in the Song, _I am my Beloved’s and his desire is towards me_. He desired the Church for himself, and gained it, every one that he desired, in electing grace, is brought to desire Christ, by calling grace, and one blessed effect of being truly called, is the desire of the soul towards God, to hold communion with him, to be like him, and to be with him. Hence that sweet Promise will one day be accomplished, _He will fulfil the desire of them that fear him_. This will not be till we awake up in his likeness; then, but not till then, shall we be satisfied.