Circus -- Fiction; Clowns -- Fiction; World War, 1914-1918 -- Veterans -- Fiction
She glanced away from him, somewhat abashed. Now and then his big
simplicity frightened her. She became dimly aware that the report of the
cook's chatter had offended the never comprehended delicacies of his soul.
She murmured:
"_Je te demande bien pardon, André_."
"There's no reason for that, my dear," said he.
She went over to her birds. Andrew resumed his writing. But after a minute
or two his pen hung idle in his hand. Yes. He had spoken truly. He had been
faithful to her in that he had fled from divine temptation. For her sake he
had put the other woman and the glory that she signified out of his life.
All through the delicious intercourse, Elodie had hung at the bottom of his
heart, a dead-weight, maybe, but one which he could not in honour or common
humanity cut off. For Elodie's sake he had held himself in stern restraint,
had uttered no word that might be interpreted as that of a lover. As far as
Lady Auriol Dayne knew, as far as anyone on this earth knew, his feelings
towards her were nothing more than those of a devoted and grateful friend.
So does the well-intentioned ostrich, you may say, bury its head and
imagine itself invisible. But the ostrich is desperately sincere--and so
was Andrew.
Presently he turned.
"If that woman says such vulgarities again, she must go at once."
"I shall see that she has no opportunity," said Elodie.
* * * * *
For a time Andrew sought in France that which he had failed to find in
England; but with even less chance of success. The gates to employment in
England had been crowded with demobilized officers. Only the fortunate, the
young content with modest beginnings, those with money enough to start new
avocations, had pushed through. These had been adventurers like himself.
The others had returned to the office or counting-house or broad acres from
which they had sprung. In France he found no employment at all; the gates
round which the demobilized wistfully gathered, led no whither. As at the
War Office, so at military head-quarters in Paris. Brass-hatted friends
wrung him warmly by the hand, condoled with his lot, and genially gave him
to understand that he stood not a dog's chance of getting in anywhere.
Why hadn't he worried the people at home for a foreign billet? There were
plenty going, but as to their nature they confessed vagueness. He had put
in for several, said he, but had always been turned down. The friends shook
their heads. In Paris nothing doing. Andrew walked away sadly. Perhaps
a spirit proof against rebuffs, a thick-skinned persistence, might have
eventually prevailed in London to set him on some career in the social
reconstruction of the world. His record stood, and needed only unblushing
flaunting before the eyes of Authority for it to be recognized. But Andrew
Lackaday, proud and sensitive, was a poor seeker after favour. All his
promotion and his honour had come unsought. He had hated the braggadocio of
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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