Circus -- Fiction; Clowns -- Fiction; World War, 1914-1918 -- Veterans -- Fiction
For months the prospect had hung over them like a doom; ever since the
brigade which he commanded in England had dissolved through demobilization,
and he, left in the air, had applied disastrously to the War Office for
further employment. He had seen others, almost his equal in rank, swept
relentlessly back to their old uninspiring avocations. A Bayard of a
Colonel of a glorious battalion of a famous regiment, a fellow with
decorations barred two or three times over, was now cooped up in his
solicitor's office in Lothbury, E.C., breaking his heart over the
pettifoggery of conveyances. A gallant boy, adjutant at twenty-two in the
company of which he was captain, a V.C. and God knows what else besides,
was back again in the close atmosphere of the junior department of a
Public School. One of his old seconds in command was resuming his awful
frock-coated walk down the aisles of a suburban drapery store. The flabby,
soulless octopus of civil life reached out its tentacles and dragged
all these heroic creatures into its maw of oblivion. Then another, a
distinguished actor, and a more distinguished soldier, a man with a
legendary record of fearlessness, had sloughed his armour and returned to
the theatre. That, thought he, was his own case. But no. The actor took
up the high place of histrionic fame which he had abandoned. He was the
exponent of a great art. The dual supremacy brought the public to his feet.
His appearance was the triumph both of the artist and the soldier. No. He,
Lackaday, held no such position. He recalled his first talk with Bakkus,
in which he had insisted that his mountebanking was an art, and with his
hard-gained knowledge of life rejected the sophistry. To hold an audience
spell-bound by the interpretation of great human emotion was a different
matter from making a zany of oneself and, upside down, playing a
one-stringed fiddle behind one's head, and uttering degraded sounds through
painted grinning lips in order to appeal to the inane sense of humour of
the grocer and his wife. No. There was all the difference in the world. The
comparison filled him less with consolation than with despair. The actor,
mocking the octopus below, had calmly stepped from one rock pinnacle to
another. He himself, Andrew Lackaday, in the depths, felt the irresistible
grip of the horror twining round his middle.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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