Circus -- Fiction; Clowns -- Fiction; World War, 1914-1918 -- Veterans -- Fiction
She did not repeat the reproach, nor did Andrew put to her the question
which he had asked himself. The amicable placidity unruffled by quarrel,
which marked their relations, was far too precious to be disturbed by an
unnecessary plumbing of emotional depths. As far as he could grapple with
psychological complexities, there had been nothing between them, through
all the years, of the divine passion. She had come to him disillusioned and
weary. He had come to her with a queer superstitious gratitude for help in
the past and a full recognition of present sympathy and service. As the
French say, they had made together _un bon ménage_. Save for a few
half-hysterical days during the war--and in that incomprehensible pre-war
period at the end of which the birds came to her rescue, there had been
little talk of love and dreams of delight and the rest of the vaporous
paradise of the mutually infatuated. He could not manifest, nor did she
demand, a lover's ardour. It had all been as comfortable and satisfactory
as you please. And now, at the most irrelevant moment, according to his
masculine mind, came this cry of the heart.
But was it of the heart? Did it not rather proceed from childish
disappointment at his lack of enthusiastic praise of her splendid exploit?
As I say, he judged it prudent to leave the problem unsolved. Of the
exploit itself, needless to remark, she talked interminably. Generous and
kind-hearted, he agreed with her arguments. Of the humiliation she had
wrought for him, he allowed her to have no notion.
He shivered all night at the degradation of his proudest honour. It had
been gained, not as one of a batch of crosses handed over to the British
military authorities for distribution, but on the field. He had come, with
a handful of men, to the relief of a sorely pressed village held by the
French; somehow he had rallied the composite force, wiped out two or three
nests of machine guns and driven out the Germans; as officer in command
he had consolidated the village, so that, when the French came up, he had
handed it over to them as a victor. A French general had pinned the cross
on his breast on a day of wind and rain and bursting shell, on a vast
plain of unutterable devastation. The upholding of it before the mob of
Marseilles had been a profanation. In these moments of anguished amazement
he had suffered as he had never suffered in his life before. And he had
been helpless. Before he realized what was being done, Elodie, in her
tempestuous swiftness, had done it. It was only when she came to fix the
cross on his breast that his soul sprang to irresistible revolt. He could
have taken her by the throat and wrung it, and flung her away dead.
Thus, they were infinite leagues asunder. She met what amounted to wearily
indulgent forgiveness when she had fully expected to reap the golden meed
of heroism.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account