Circus -- Fiction; Clowns -- Fiction; World War, 1914-1918 -- Veterans -- Fiction
There we sat, at any rate, wedged in a mass as vague and cohesive as
chocolate creams running into one another. I had beside me a fat, damp lady
whose wet umbrella dripped into my shoes. Lady Auriol was flanked by a
lean, collarless man in a cloth-cap who made sarcastic remarks to soldier
friends on the tier below on the capitalist occupiers of the three-franc
seats. The dreadful circus band began to blare. The sudden and otherwise
unheralded entrance of a lady on a white horse followed by the ring master
made us realize that the performance had begun. The show ran its course.
The clowns went through their antiquated antics to the delight of the
simple folk by whom we were surrounded. A child did a slack wire act,
waving a Japanese umbrella over her head. Some acrobats played about on
horizontal bars. We both sat forward on our narrow bench, elbows on knees
and face in hands, saying nothing, practically seeing nothing, aware
only of a far off, deep down, infernal pit in which was being played the
Orcagnesque prelude to a bizarre tragedy. I, who had gone through the
programme before, yet suffered the spell of Auriol's suspense. Long before
she had thrown aside the useless veil. In these dim altitudes no one could
be recognized from the ring. Her knuckles were bent into her cheeks and her
eyes were staring down into that pit of despair. We had no programme; I had
not retained in my head the sequence of turns. Now it was all confused. The
pervasive clowns alone seemed to give what was happening below a grotesque
coherence.
Suddenly the ring was empty for a second. Then with exaggerated strides
marched in a lean high-heeled monster in green silk tights reaching to his
armpits, topped with a scarlet wig ending in a foot high point. He wore
white cotton gloves dropping an inch from the finger tips, and he carried
a fiddle apparently made out of a cigar box and a broom handle. His face
painted red and white was made up into an idiot grin. He opened his mouth
at the audience, who applauded mildly.
Lady Auriol still sat in her bemused attitude of suspense. I watched her
perplexedly for a second or two, and then I saw she had not recognized him.
I said:
"That's Lackaday."
She gasped. Sat bolt upright, and uttered an "Oh-h!" a horrible little
moan, not quite human, almost that of a wounded animal, and her face was
stricken into tense ugliness. Her hand, stretched out instinctively, found
mine and held it in an iron grip. She said in a quavering voice:
"I wish I hadn't come."
"I wish I could get you out," said I.
She shook her head.
"No, no. It would be giving myself away. I must see it through."
She drew a deep breath, relinquished my hand, turned to me with an attempt
at a smile.
"I'm all right now. Don't worry."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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