Circus -- Fiction; Clowns -- Fiction; World War, 1914-1918 -- Veterans -- Fiction
Lackaday's letters were brief, and, such as they were, full of Arbuthnot.
He was sailing as soon as he could find a berth. I gave the pair up, and
went to an elder brother's place in Inverness-shire for rest and
shooting and rain and family criticism and such-like amenities. Among my
fellow-guests I found young Charles Verity-Stewart and Evadne nominally
under governess tutelage. The child kept me sane during a dreadful month.
Having been sick of the sound of guns going off during the war, I found,
to my dismay, scant pleasure in explosions followed by the death of little
birds. And then--I suppose I am growing old--the sport, in which I once
rejoiced, involved such hours of wet and weary walking that I renounced
it without too many sighs. But I had nothing to do. My pre-war dilettante
excursions into the literary world had long since come to an end. I was
obsessed by the story of Lackaday; and so, out of sheer _tædium vitæ_,
and at the risk of a family quarrel, I shut myself up with the famous
manuscript and my own reminiscences, and began to reduce things to such
coherence as you now have had an opportunity of judging.
It was at breakfast, one morning in November, that the butler handed me a
telegram. I opened the orange envelope. The missive, reply paid, ran:
Will you swear that there are real live cannibals in the Solomon
Islands? If not, it will be the final disillusion of my life.--AURIOL
I passed the paper to my neighbour Evadne, healthily deep in porridge. She
glanced at it, glass of milk in one hand, poised spoon in the other. With
the diabolical intuition of eternal woman and the ironical imperturbability
of the modern maiden, she raised her candid eyes to mine and declared:
"She's quite mad. But I told you all about it years ago."
This lofty calmness I could not share. I suddenly found myself unable to
stand another minute of Scotland. Righteous indignation sped me to London.
I found the pair together in Lady Auriol's drawing-room. Without formal
greeting I apostrophized them.
"You two have behaved disgracefully. Here have I been utterly miserable
about you, and all the time you've left me in the dark."
"Where we were ourselves, my dear Hylton, I assure you," said Lackaday.
"I shed light as soon as I could," said Auriol. "We bumped into each other
last Monday evening in Bond Street and found it was us."
"I told her I was going to the Solomon Islands."
"And I thought I wanted to go there too."
"From which I gather," said I, "that you are going to get married."
Lady Auriol smiled and shook her head.
"Oh dear no."
I was really angry. "Then what on earth made you drag me all the way from
the North of Scotland?"
"To congratulate us, my dear friend," said Lackaday. "We were married this
morning."
"I think you're a pair of fools," said I later, not yet quite mollified.
"Why--for getting married?" asked Auriol.
"No," said I. "For putting it off to a fortuitous bump in Bond Street."
The End
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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