I found No. 764, Trooper Hartley, W.J., in the horse lines, sitting
on a hay-bale perusing a letter which seemed to give him some
amusement. On seeing me he arose, clicked his spurs and saluted. I
returned the salute, graciously bidding him carry on. We go through
the motions of officer and man very punctiliously, William and I. In
other days, in other lands, our relative positions were easier.
The ceremonies over I sat down beside him on the hay-bale, and we
became Bill and Jim to each other.
"Did you ever run across Gustav Müller in the old days?" William
inquired, thumbing a fistful of dark Magliesburg tobacco into his
corn-cob incinerator. "'Mafoota,' the niggers called him, a beefy
man with an underdone complexion."
"Yes," I said, "he turned up in my district on the Wallaby in 1913 or
thereabouts, with nothing in the world but a topee, an army overcoat
and a box of parlour magic. Set up as a wizard in Chala's kraal.
Used to produce yards of ribbon out of the mouths of the afflicted,
and collapsible flower-pots out of their nostrils--casting out
devils, you understand. Was scratching together a very comfortable
practice; but he began to dabble in black politics, so I moved him
on. An entertaining old rogue; I don't know what became of him."
William winked at me through a cloud of blue tobacco smoke. "I do.
He went chasing a rainbow's end North of the Lakes, and I went along
with him. You see, Gustav's great-aunt Gretchen appeared to him in a
dream and told him there was alluvial gold in a certain river bed,
tons of it, easy washing, so we went after it. We didn't find it;
but that's neither here nor there; a man must take a chance now and
again, and this was the first time Gustav's great-aunt had let him
down. She'd given him the straight tip for two Melbourne Cups and a
Portugoose lottery in her time. Some girl, great-aunt Gretchen!
Anyway there was Gustav and me away up at the tail-end of Nowhere,
with the boys yapping for six months' back pay, and we couldn't have
bought a feed of hay for a nightmare between us. We just naturally
had to do something, so----"
"So you just naturally took to poaching ivory," said I. "I know you.
Go on."
William grinned. "Well, a man must live, you know. How'msodever we
struck a bonanza vein of _m'jufu_ right away and piled up the long
white nuggets in a way that would drive you to poetry. A Somali Arab
took the stuff from us on the spot, paying us in cattle at a
fifty-per-cent discount, which was reasonable enough, seeing that he
ran ninety per cent of the risks. Everything sailed along like a
beautiful dream. The elephants was that tame they'd eat out of your
hand, and you could stroll out and bowl over a dozen of the silly
blighters before breakfast if you felt in the mood. The police
hadn't got our address as yet. The only competitor that threatened
got buckshot in his breeches, which changed his mind and direction
for him very precipitous. The industry boomed and boomed.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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