"The country is crawling with game," said I, ignoring his
personalities, "and here we are hanging body and soul together on
bully and dog biscuit."
"Exactly," said Albert Edward, "and in the meanwhile the festive
_lapin_ breeds and breeds. Has it ever occurred to you that, if
something isn't done soon, we'll have Australia's sad story over
again here in Picardy? Give the rabbits a chance and in no time
they'll have eaten off all the crops in France. Why, on the Burra
I've seen----"
"One moment," said I; "if I listen to your South Australian rabbit
story again you've got to listen to my South African locust yarn;
it's only fair."
"Oh, shut up," Albert Edward growled; "can't you understand this
question is deadly serious?"
"Best put the Tanks on to 'em then," I suggested; "they'd enjoy
themselves, and the Waterloo Cup wouldn't be in it--Captain
Monkey-Wrench's brindled whippet, 'Sardine Tin,' 6 to 4; Major
Spanner's 'Pig Iron,' 7 to 2; even money the field."
"Your humour is a trifle strained," said Albert Edward; "if you're
not careful you'll crack a joke at the expense of a tendon one of
these days."
"Look here," said I, wiping the blood off my safety-razor, "you're
evidently struggling to give expression to some heavy brain wave; out
with it."
"What about a pack of harriers?" said Albert Edward. "There must be
swarms of sportive tykes about, faithful Fidos that have stuck to the
dear old homestead through thick and thin, also refugee animals that
follow the sweet-scented infantry cookers. I've got my old
hunting-horn; you've got your old crop; between the two we ought to
be able to mobilize 'em a bit and put the wind up these darn hares.
I'm going to try anyway. I may say I look on it as a duty."
"Looked on in that light it's a sacred duty," said I;
"and--er--incidentally we might reap a haunch of hare out of it now
and again, mightn't we?"
"Incidentally, yes," said Albert Edward, "and a trifle of sport into
the bargain--incidentally."
So we set about collecting a pack there and then by offering our
servants five francs per likely dog and no questions asked.
No questions were asked, but I have a strong suspicion that our
gentlemen were up all night and that there were dark deeds done in
the dead of it, for the very next evening my groom and countryman
presented us with a bill for forty-five francs.
The dogs, he informed us, were kennelled "in a little shmall place
the like of an ice-house" at the northern extremity of the château
grounds, and that "anyway a blind man himself couldn't miss them wid
the screechin' an' hollerin' they are afther raisin' be dint of the
confinement."
I had an appointment with the Q. Staff (to explain why I had indented
for sixty-four horse rations while only possessing thirty-two horses,
the excuse that they all enjoyed very healthy appetites apparently
not sufficing), so Albert Edward went forth to inspect the pack alone.
He came into Mess very late, looking hot and dishevelled.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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