“I never keep accounts, and never pay a debt until the brokers come in, so I really haven’t the slightest idea. You can guess at the amount just as well as I can.. Guess and proceed.” “All right. I want to pay you double your yearly income for your help in this matter.” “That isn’t friendship, that’s commercialism again. I beg pardon, I forgot. Don’t look daggers, Barney; I accept. Can I have the money in advance?” “Of course you can,” cried Barney, gleefully, making a dive for his inside pocket; then, as the other went into a fit of laughter, the joyful look faded into an expression of intense indignation, and Barney, with a curse, strode to the door. Haldiman sprang to his feet and grasped the offended man by the shoulders. “None of that!” he cried. “Come back, you villain! You are not going to offer me a fortune and then sneak off in that fashion. Sit down, Barney; sit down and go on with the pretty talk!” “Oh, it’s no use!” said the other, in tones of deep dejection. “I said I hadn’t a friend in the world, and I haven’t.” “Bosh! You’re harder to humour than a baby. If a man may not smile in his own room, where may he? I’m intensely interested, and want to know what crime I’m expected to commit. Never mind the money, but state your case.” “The money is part of the case. I pay or I don’t play.” “Certainly. That’s understood. I accept. Fire away!” “Well, you know all the editors of the illustrated weeklies and magazines.” “For my sins I do--alas!” “Then, to come right to the point as between man and man, I want to buy a first-class critic, and the editor of a first-class illustrated periodical.” “You mean you want to buy a going magazine?” “I don’t mean anything of the kind. I mean just what I say.” “Then I don’t quite understand you. Explain.” “What I want is this: I want a first-class art-critic to write an article in a first-class periodical saying Barnard Hope is the greatest artist the world has ever seen.” “Oh, is that all?” “No, that’s not all. I want the article superbly illustrated--in colour if possible--with, reproductions of my chief paintings.” “Ah! I wouldn’t do that, Barney, if I were you. The pictures would be rather a give-away of the great critic’s eulogy.” “Yes, I knew you would say that. The obviousness of such a remark would commend itself to you. But you see I’m perfectly frank with you. Now, could you manage this for me? Remember, I don’t care how much money I spend.” Haldiman removed the black pipe from his mouth, knocked the ashes out of it, and thoughtfully re-filled it. “Well, for brazen cheek, Barney,” he said at last, “that proposal----”