"Then how did he get that cut on the head?" said the housemaid. "I know," cried cook triumphantly. "How?" "Climbing the wall after a cat, and then he tumbled off on to the bricks." "Oh!" ejaculated the housemaid, snatching at the explanation. "Wrong," said John Season, untying and retying his blue serge apron, as a necessity after his hearty meal. "Then, pray how was it, Mr Clever?" said cook. "He'd been interfering with master in the dark. Didn't know him, I s'pose; and master give him a polt with a stick." "Oh!" ejaculated the housemaid. "But why should he interfere with master?" said cook, who felt annoyed at her solution being so ruthlessly set aside. "Because he was a good dog," said John, taking a sip from his glass, and moving his chair a little, as he thought, with a sigh, about the big piece of lawn he had to sweep in the hot sun. "A good dog to fly at his master!" exclaimed cook, rolling her arms in her apron. "He's only a new master that he don't know well, and don't much like," said John sententiously; "and he sees him coming out of the window in the middle of the night." "Oh!" ejaculated the housemaid again. "`Burglars!' says Bruno. If you remember, his bark always sounds like saying burglars." "Yes; I've always noticed that," said the housemaid, emphasising the last word. "Fiddle!" said cook contemptuously. "Ah, you may say fiddle," said John, taking out his red handkerchief, and slowly spreading it upon his knees, "but that's it. Sees him coming down from the stairkiss window, and goes at him; master gives him one on the head, and Bruno feels sick, and goes and lies down among the laurels." "And who says master went out of the stairkiss window," said cook with a snort, "when there's a front door to the house as well as a back?" "I did, my dear, and you needn't be cross." "Enough to make any one cross to hear folks talk rubbidge. Pray, how do you know he went out that way?" "Ah!" exclaimed the housemaid, as much as to say "that's a poser." "Because I had to take the rake and smooth out the footmarks, as was a eyesore to a gardener who takes a pride in his place," said John with a satisfied smile. "You did, John?" said cook, giving way directly, and lowering her voice as she drew nearer the speaker, and poured him out another glass of ale. "Thankye, my dear. Yes; same as I've done before." "But why should he get out of the window on the sly like that?" "Larks!" said John Season, giving one eye a peculiar cock. "Why do young men get out of other windows o' nights, eh?" "Well, of all!" exclaimed the housemaid. "Then he ought to be ashamed of himself," exclaimed cook; "and for two pins I'd go and tell Miss Gertrude myself." No one offered the two pins, and as the reward was not forthcoming, cook seemed to consider her proposition off.