The Mysteries of London, v. 4/4Reynolds, George W. M. (George William MacArthur)
General
The Mysteries of London, v. 4/4
Reynolds, George W. M. (George William MacArthur)
London (England) -- Fiction; Penny dreadfuls
Bucklersbury--a tortuous street, leading from Cheapside to
Walbrook--abounds in dining-rooms, where for fifteen pence the “City
man” can procure a meal somewhat on the “cheap and nasty” principle.
There’s ten-pence for a plate of meat, cut off a joint--two-pence, a
pint of porter--a penny, potatoes--a penny, bread--and a penny the
waiter.
The moment a person enters one of these establishments and seats
himself at a table, a waiter with a dirty apron to his waist, and
a ditto napkin over his arm, rushes up, and gabbles through the
bill-of-fare, just in the same rapid and unintelligible manner as an
oath is administered to a juryman or a witness in a court of justice.
It was while the preceding scenes were taking place at the West End of
London, that two gentlemen lounged into a dining-room in Bucklersbury,
and took their places, facing each other, at one of the numerous
little tables that were spread with dirty cloths and strewn in a
random fashion with knives, forks, salt-sellars, pepper-boxes, and
vinegar-cruets,--all in preparation for the afternoon’s process of
“feeding.”
Scarcely had the two gentlemen thus brought themselves to an anchor,
when the waiter darted up to them as if the necessity of speed were
a matter of life or death;--and, heedless whether the visitors were
attending to him or not, the domestic functionary hurried over the list
of delicacies at that moment in readiness in the kitchen.
“Roast beef--biled beef--roast leg of pork--biled leg of pork and pease
pudding--fillet of veal and ’am--beef steak pie--biled leg of mutton
and caper sarse--greens--colliflowers--and taturs. Give your orders,
gentle-_men_.”
But were the rapidity of the waiter’s utterance properly represented
in print, his repetition of the bill-of-fare would more properly stand
thus:--
“Roast beef biled beef roast leg of pork biled leg of pork and pease
pudding fillet of veal and ’am beefsteak pie biled leg of mutton
and caper sarse greens colliflowers and taturs give your orders
gentle-_men_!”
“Well--what shall we have, old fellow?” said the younger gentleman of
the two to his companion.
“Be Jasus! ’an it’s afther boiled leg of por-r-rk and paze pudding that
I am, my frind!” was the emphatic reply, delivered with a ferocious
look at the waiter as much as to let that individual know that he had
better not have any of his nonsense--although nothing was farther from
the poor devil’s thoughts at the moment.
“Very good, sir!” cried the waiter. “Biled pork and pease pudding!”
he shouted out for the behoof of the young lady within the bar at the
remote end of the room.
“And the same for me,” said the Irishman’s companion.
“Same for gentle-_man_!” bawled the waiter, again addressing himself to
the young lady just alluded to. “Ale or stout, gentle-_men_?”
“Porther--a pint!” exclaimed the ferocious Hibernian.
“Pale ale for me,” intimated his friend.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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