The Mysterious Stranger, and Other StoriesTwain, Mark
General
The Mysterious Stranger, and Other Stories
Twain, Mark
Humorous stories, American; Short stories; United States -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction
Well, what Satan had done was this: he had appeared before that
poor prisoner, exclaiming, “The trial is over, and you stand forever
disgraced as a thief--by verdict of the court!”
The shock unseated the old man's reason. When we arrived, ten minutes
later, he was parading pompously up and down and delivering commands to
this and that and the other constable or jailer, and calling them Grand
chamberlain, and Prince This and Prince That, and Admiral of the Fleet,
Field Marshal in Command, and all such fustian, and was as happy as a
bird. He thought he was Emperor!
Marget flung herself on his breast and cried, and indeed everybody
was moved almost to heartbreak. He recognized Marget, but could not
understand why she should cry. He patted her on the shoulder and said:
“Don't do it, dear; remember, there are witnesses, and it is not
becoming in the Crown Princess. Tell me your trouble--it shall be
mended; there is nothing the Emperor cannot do.” Then he looked around
and saw old Ursula with her apron to her eyes. He was puzzled at that,
and said, “And what is the matter with you?”
Through her sobs she got out words explaining that she was distressed to
see him--“so.” He reflected over that a moment, then muttered, as if to
himself: “A singular old thing, the Dowager Duchess--means well, but is
always snuffling and never able to tell what it is about. It is because
she doesn't know.” His eyes fell on Wilhelm. “Prince of India,” he said,
“I divine that it is you that the Crown Princess is concerned about.
Her tears shall be dried; I will no longer stand between you; she shall
share your throne; and between you you shall inherit mine. There, little
lady, have I done well? You can smile now--isn't it so?”
He petted Marget and kissed her, and was so contented with himself and
with everybody that he could not do enough for us all, but began to give
away kingdoms and such things right and left, and the least that any of
us got was a principality. And so at last, being persuaded to go home,
he marched in imposing state; and when the crowds along the way saw how
it gratified him to be hurrahed at, they humored him to the top of his
desire, and he responded with condescending bows and gracious smiles,
and often stretched out a hand and said, “Bless you, my people!”
As pitiful a sight as ever I saw. And Marget, and old Ursula crying all
the way.
On my road home I came upon Satan, and reproached him with deceiving
me with that lie. He was not embarrassed, but said, quite simply and
composedly:
“Ah, you mistake; it was the truth. I said he would be happy the rest of
his days, and he will, for he will always think he is the Emperor, and
his pride in it and his joy in it will endure to the end. He is now, and
will remain, the one utterly happy person in this empire.”
“But the method of it, Satan, the method! Couldn't you have done it
without depriving him of his reason?”
It was difficult to irritate Satan, but that accomplished it.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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