“Timothy and I laughed as we divided the sixpence. It appeared that after taking his allowance of whisky the poor fellow fixed the plaister on his back when he went to bed, and the next morning found himself in a condition not to be envied. It was a week before we saw him again, and, much to the horror of Timothy and myself, he walked into the shop when Mr. Brookes was employed behind the counter. Timothy perceived him before he saw us, and pulling me behind the large mortar, we contrived to make our escape into the back parlour, the door of which we held ajar to hear what would take place. “‘Murder and turf!’ cried the man, ‘but that was the devil’s own plaister you gave me here for my back, and it left me as raw as a turnip, taking every bit of my skin off me entirely, forbye my lying in bed for a whole week and losing my day’s work.’ “‘I really do not recollect supplying you with a plaister, my good man,’ replied Mr. Brookes. “‘Then by the piper that played before Moses, if you don’t recollect it, I’ve an idea that I shall never forget it. Sure enough, it cured me, but wasn’t I quite kilt before I was cured?’ “‘It must have been some other shop,’ observed Mr. Brookes. ‘You have made a mistake.’ “‘Devil a bit of a mistake, except in selling me the plaister. Didn’t I get it of a lad in this same shop?’ “‘Nobody sells things out of this shop without my knowledge.’ “The Irishman was puzzled—he looked round the shop. ‘Well, then, if this a’n’t the shop, it was own sister to it.’” “Like all embryo apothecaries,” says Japhet, “I carried in my appearance, if not the look of wisdom, most certainly that of self-sufficiency, which does equally well with the world in general. My forehead was smooth and very white, and my dark locks were combed back systematically and with a regularity that said, as plainly as hair could do, ‘The owner of this does everything by prescription, measurement, and rule’. Altogether I cut such a truly medical appearance that even the most guarded would not have hesitated to allow me the sole conduct of a whitlow, from inflammation to suppuration, and from suppuration to cure, or have refused to have confided to me the entire suppression of a gumboil. “Such were my personal qualifications at the time I was raised to the important office of dispenser of, I may say, life and death.” Transcriber’s note Text in italics was surrounded with _underscores_ and small capitals changed to all capitals. A few errors in punctuation were corrected silently. Also the following changes were made, on page 52 “furnance” changed to “furnace” (seizing his red-hot tongs from the little furnace in which) 76 “Teragrammaton” changed to “Tetragrammaton” (Tetragrammaton + Adonai) 234 “the” added (centre of the cover) 273 “Lanfen” changed to “Lafeu” (Lafeu. Go to, sir, you were beaten in Italy) 278 “Spencer” changed to “Spenser” (Edmund Spenser was born in London).