"I'm afraid I have been very selfish and inconsiderate. Oh! yes I have"
for I was commencing a protest. "I know it now. Mrs. Jack was quite
right. It never occurred to me what a brute I have been; and you so
good to me, and so patient. Well, dear, that's all over now! I want
to tell you, right here, that if you like I'll go away with you
to-morrow--to-day if you wish; and we'll let every one know that we are
married, and go and live together." She stopped, and we sat hand in hand
with our fingers clasping. I remained quite still with a calm that
amazed me, for my brain was in a whirl. But somehow there came to me,
even as it had come to her, a sense of duty. How could I accept such a
sweet sacrifice. The very gravity of her preparation for thought and
speech showed me that she was loth to leave the course on which she had
entered. That she loved me I had no doubt; was it not for me that she
was willing to give it all up. And then my course of action rose clear
before me. Instinctively I stood up as I spoke to her, and I felt that
big stalwart man as I was, the pretty self-denying girl at my feet ruled
me, for she was more to me than my own wishes, my own hopes, my own
soul.
"Marjory, do you remember when you sat on the throne in the cave, and
gave me the accolade?" She bowed her head in acquiescence; her eyes
fell, and her face and ears grew rosy pink. "Well, when you dubbed me
your knight, and I took the vow, I meant all I said! Your touch on
my shoulder was more to me than if it had come from the Queen on her
throne, with all the glory of a thousand years behind her. Oh, my dear,
I was in earnest--in earnest then, as I am in earnest now. I was, and
am, your true knight! You are my lady; to serve, and make her feet walk
in easy ways! It is a terrible temptation to me to take what you have
offered as done, and walk straightway into Paradise in our new life.
But, my dear! my dear! I too can be selfish if I am tempted too far; and
I must not think of my own wishes alone. Since I first saw your face
I have dreamt a dream. That a time would come when you, with all the
world to choose from, would come to me of your own free will. When you
wouldn't want to look back with regret at anything, done or undone. I
want you to be happy; to look forward only--unless the backward thought
is of happiness. Now, if you give up your purpose and come to me with
the feeling that you have only made a choice, the regret that you did
not have the opportunity you longed for, may grow and grow, till--till
it may become an unhappiness. Let me be sententious for a moment.
'Remember Lot's wife' was not merely the warning of a fact; it touched a
great allegory. You and I are young; we are both happy; we have all the
world before us, and numberless good things to thank God for. I want you
to enjoy them to the full; and, my dear one, I will not stand in your
way in anything which you may wish. Be free, Marjory, be quite free! The
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account