"That sounds very rude," she said "but I understand what you mean, and
take it so." This gave me an opening into which I jumped at once. She
listened, seeming not displeased at my words; but on the whole glad of a
moment's pause to collect her thoughts before again speaking:
"I know that you are beautiful; the most beautiful and graceful girl I
ever saw. I know that you are brave and sweet and tender and thoughtful.
I know that you are clever and resourceful and tactful. I know that you
are a good comrade; that you are an artist with a poet's soul. I know
that you are the one woman in all the wide world for me; that having
seen you there can never be any one else to take your place in my heart.
I know that I would rather die with you in my arms, than live a king
with any other queen!"
"But you have only seen me twice. How can you know so many nice things
about me. I wish they were all true! I am only a girl; and I must say it
is sweet to hear them, whether they be true or not. Anyhow, supposing
them all true, how could you have known them?"
Hope was stepping beside me now. I went on:
"I did not need a second meeting to know so much. To-day was but a
repetition of my joy; an endorsement of my judgment; a fresh rivetting
of my fetters!" She smiled in spite of herself as she replied:
"You leave me dumb. How can I answer or argue with such a conviction."
Then she laid her hand tenderly on my arm as she went on:
"Oh, I know what you mean, my friend. I take it all in simple truth; and
believe me it makes me proud to hear it, though it also makes me feel
somewhat unworthy of so much faith. But there is one other thing which
you must consider. In justice to me you must." She paused and I felt my
heart grow cold. "What is it?" I asked. I tried to speak naturally but I
felt that my voice was hoarse. Her answer came slowly, but it seemed to
turn me to ice:
"But I don't know you!"
There was a pity in her eyes which gave me some comfort, though not
much; a man whose soul is crying out for love does not want pity.
Love is a glorious self-surrender; all spontaneity; all gladness, all
satisfaction, in which doubt and forethought have no part. Pity is a
conscious act of the mind; wherein is a knowledge of one's own security
of foothold. The two can no more mingle than water and oil.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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