Perhaps if I had been able at such times to take a complete rest of six months or even a year, I might have been fully restored, but this has not been possible. I have not been able to remain away from work for over five or six weeks after the “cure” proper, and even this has, as may well be understood, been a severe drain, when I have taken some cure or other at as short intervals as I could manage to get together sufficient funds and the opportunity to leave my practice. Of course it may be argued that, rather than return to the use of the drug and thus again be able to live a life as nearly approaching normal as is possible for an addict, it would be better to refrain from using the drug, even though this involved never again being able to do those things which, to the ambitious man, are essential to make life worth the living. I submit that it is a high motive and not a low one which makes a man willing to pay the price rather than live a vegetative existence when he knows himself capable of better things. To understand this point of view it must be remembered that the addict gets no rosy dreams, no wonderful journeys into a beautiful and unreal world, no artificially enhanced powers beyond those of the non-addict, but at best only such equanimity and energy as are the latter’s happy possessions. My point, therefore, is that my resorting to the drug after having stopped its use a number of times does not mean that I have many times been cured, and many times relapsed, but that I have not been truly cured. When the latest “cure” which I have taken has left me, even after weeks, still suffering acutely and continuously, and not improving in the slightest so far as I could see, I have taken the drug again for relief from torture no longer bearable. After “cures” which have left me in decidedly better plight but in the intolerable condition last described above, and with progress at a standstill, I have taken the drug only after calmly surveying the situation, and as the lesser of two evils. I must reiterate my strong desire to find a cure, a real cure, one deserving the name; that is, a cure which will leave me normal, without need of the drug, and able to do the work which I must do in the world unless I am willing to be a slacker. But until I can find such a cure (and, in spite of my unhappy experiences, I will keep up the quest) I would have only contempt for myself as a physician and as a rational being if I failed meanwhile to make the best compromise possible, namely, to take each day, just as I would take thyroid substance were I suffering from hypothyroidism, a sufficient amount of morphine to enable me to attend to life’s duties and to occupy in the world that useful place which my qualifications enable me to occupy.