Now as to the conduct of that life--what of religion? And here, for a
moment or two, Laurie was genuinely dismayed. For, as he looked at the
Catholic religion, he perceived that the whole thing had changed. It
no longer seemed august and dominant. As he contemplated himself as he
had been at Mass on the previous morning, he seemed to have been
rather absurd. Why all this trouble, all this energy, all these
innumerable acts and efforts of faith? It was not that his religion
seemed necessarily untrue; it was certainly possible for a man to hold
simultaneously Catholic and spiritualistic beliefs; there had not been
a hint last night against Christianity, and yet, in the face of this
evidence of the senses, Catholicism seemed a very shadowy thing. It
might well be true, as any philosophy may be true, but--did it matter
very much? To be enthusiastic about it was the frenzy of an artist,
who loves the portrait more than the original--and possibly a very
misleading and inadequate portrait. Laurie had seen for himself the
original last night; he had seen a disembodied soul in a garb assumed
for the purpose of identification.... Did he need, then, a "religion?"
Was not his experience all-sufficing....?
Then suddenly all speculation fled away in the presence of the
personal element.
Three days ago he had contemplated the thought of Amy with comparative
indifference. She had been to him lately little more than a "test
case" of the spiritual world, clothed about with the memory of
sentiment. Now once more she sprang into vivid vital life as a person.
She was not lost; his relations with her were not just incidents of
the past; they were as much bound up with the present as courtship has
a continuity with married life. She existed--her very self--and
communication was possible between them....
Laurie rolled over on to his back. The thought was violently
overwhelming; there was a furious, absorbing fascination in it. The
gulf had been bridged; it could be bridged again. Even if tales were
true, it could be bridged far more securely yet. It was possible that
the phantom he had seen could be brought yet more forward into the
world of sense, that he could touch again with his very hand a
tabernacle enclosing her soul. So far spiritualism had not failed him;
why should he suspect it of failure in the future? It had been done
before; it could, and should, be done again. Besides, there was the
pencil incident....
He threw off the clothes and sprang out of bed. It was time to get up;
time to begin again this fascinating, absorbingly interesting earthly
life, which now had such enormous possibilities.
II
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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