Here in the year 1920, the high cost of living is becoming the strain of
life. Capital and Labor are at each other's throats; men cry "profiteer"
at those whom good fortune and callous conscience have allowed to take
advantage of the world crisis. The air is filled with the whispers that
a crash is coming, though the theaters are crowded, the automobile
manufacturers are burdened with orders, and the shops brazenly display
the most gorgeous and extravagant gowns. That the marital happiness of
the country is threatened by this I do not see recorded in any of the
discussions on the subject. Yet this phase of the high cost of living is
perhaps its most important result.
The housewife's money difficulties are not confined to the question of
expenditure. For there is a factor not consciously put forward but
evident upon a little probing.
If a woman remains poor, either actually or relatively, she always knows
some man with whom she was familiar in her youth who became rich, or she
has a woman friend whose husband has become successful. A subtle sort of
regret for her marriage may and does arise in many a woman, a subtle
disrespect for her husband because of his failure. The husband becomes
aware of her decreased admiration, and he is hurt in his tenderest
place, his pride. One of the worst cases of neurasthenia I have seen in
a housewife arose in such a woman, who struggled between loyalty and
contempt until exhausted. For she came of a successful family, she had
married against their counsel and her husband, though good, was an
entire failure financially. Measuring men by their success, she found
her lowered position almost unendurable but was too proud to acknowledge
her error. Out of this division in feelings came a complete
deënergization.
Whether or not such a housewife deserves any sympathy in her trouble,
it is certain she presents a problem to every one connected with her.
While money and expenditure afford a fertile field from which
nervousness arises, there are others of importance.
Disagreement and disunion, conflict, arise over the training and care of
the children. Here the different reactions of a man and woman--_e.g._ to
a boy's pranks--causes a taking of sides that is disastrous to the peace
of the family. Usually the American father believes his wife is too
fussy about his son's manners and derelictions, secretly or otherwise he
is quite pleased when his son develops into a "regular" boy,--tough,
mischievous, and aggressive. But sometimes it is the overstern father
who arouses the mother's concern for the child. If a frank quarrel
results, no definite neurotic symptoms follow. It is when the woman
fears to side against the husband and watches the discipline with
vexation and inner agony that she lowers her energy in the way
repeatedly described.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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