English fiction -- 19th century; London (England) -- Fiction; Poor -- Fiction; Poverty -- Fiction
For Jane, as we know, the marvels had already begun. She came back from
Danbury not altogether like herself; unsettled a little, as it
appeared; and Michael’s illness, befalling so soon, brought her into a
nervous state such as she had not known for a long time. The immediate
effect of the disclosure made to her by Michael whilst he was
recovering was to overwhelm her with a sense of responsibilities, to
throw her mind into painful tumult. Slow of thought, habituated to the
simplest views of her own existence, very ignorant of the world beyond
the little circle in which her life had been passed, she could not at
once bring into the control of her reflection this wondrous future to
which her eyes had been opened. The way in which she had been made
acquainted with the facts was unfortunate. Michael Snowdon, in spite of
his deep affection for her, and of the trust he had come to repose in
her character, did not understand Jane well enough to bring about this
revelation with the needful prudence. Between him, a man burdened with
the sorrowful memories of a long life, originally of stern temperament,
and now, in the feebleness of his age, possessed by an enthusiasm which
in several respects disturbed his judgment, which made him desperately
eager to secure his end now that he felt life slipping away from
him—between him and such a girl as Jane there was a wider gulf than
either of them could be aware of. Little as he desired it, he could not
help using a tone which seemed severe rather than tenderly trustful.
Absorbed in his great idea, conscious that it had regulated every
detail in his treatment of Jane since she came to live with him, he
forgot that the girl herself was by no means adequately prepared to
receive the solemn injunctions which he now delivered to her. His
language was as general as were the ideas of beneficent activity which
he desired to embody in Jane’s future; but instead of inspiring her
with his own zeal, he afflicted her with grievous spiritual trouble.
For a time she could only feel that something great and hard and high
was suddenly required of her; the old man’s look seemed to keep
repeating, ‘Are you worthy?’ The tremor of bygone days came back upon
her as she listened, the anguish of timidity, the heart sinking, with
which she had been wont to strain her attention when Mrs. Peckover or
Clem imposed a harsh task.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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