English fiction -- 19th century; London (England) -- Fiction; Poor -- Fiction; Poverty -- Fiction
Bob flung sixpence on the table. He was ashamed of himself—you will not
understand him if you fail to recognise that—but the shame only served
to make him fret under his bondage. Was he going to be tied to
Pennyloaf all his life, with a family constantly increasing?
Practically he had already made a resolve to be free before very long;
the way was not quite clear to him as yet. But he went to work still
brooding over Clem’s words of the night before.
Pennyloaf let the fire go out, locked the elder child into the room for
safety against accidents, and set forth for the hospital. It rained
heavily, and the wind rendered her umbrella useless. She had to stand
for a long time at a street-corner before the omnibus came; the water
soaked into her leaky shoes, but that didn’t matter; it was the child
on whose account she was anxious. Having reached her destination, she
sat for a long time waiting her turn among the numerous out-patients.
Just as the opportunity for passing into the doctor’s room arrived, a
movement in the bundle she held made her look closely at the child’s
face; at that instant it had ceased to live.
The medical man behaved kindly to her, but she gave way to no outburst
of grief; with tearless eyes she stared at the unmoving body in a sort
of astonishment. The questions addressed to her she could not answer
with any intelligence; several times she asked stupidly, ‘Is she really
dead?’ There was nothing to wonder at, however; the doctor glanced at
the paper on which he had written prescriptions twice or thrice during
the past few weeks, and found the event natural enough. . . .
Towards the close of the afternoon Pennyloaf was in Hanover Street. She
wished to see Jane Snowdon, but had a fear of going up to the door and
knocking. Jane might not be at home, and, if she were, Pennyloaf did
not know in what words to explain her coming and say what had happened.
She was in a dazed, heavy, tongue-tied state; indeed she did not
clearly remember how she had come thus far, or what she had done since
leaving the hospital at midday. However, her steps drew nearer to the
house, and at last she had raised the knocker—just raised it and let it
fall.
Mrs. Byass opened; she did not know Pennyloaf by sight. The latter
tried to say something, but only stammered a meaningless sound;
thereupon Bessie concluded she was a beggar, and with a shake of the
head shut the door upon her.
Pennyloaf turned away in confusion and dull misery. She walked to the
end of the street and stood there. On leaving home she had forgotten
her umbrella, and now it was raining heavily again. Of a sudden her
need became powerful enough to overcome all obstacles; she knew that
she _must_ see Jane Snowdon, that she could not go home till she had
done so. Jane was the only friend she had; the only creature who would
speak the kind of words to her for which she longed.
Again the knocker fell, and again Mrs. Byass appeared.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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