England -- Fiction; Impostors and imposture -- Fiction; Women ex-convicts -- Fiction
Julian sprung restlessly to his feet, and disturbed the cat at the
fireplace. (The cat left the room.)
“I don’t know what to tell you,” he said; “I can’t realize it to myself.
No other woman has ever roused the feeling in me which this woman seems
to have called to life in an instant. In the hope of forgetting her I
broke my engagement here; I purposely seized the opportunity of making
those inquiries abroad. Quite useless. I think of her, morning, noon,
and night. I see her and hear her, at this moment, as plainly as I
see and hear you. She has made _her_self a part of _my_self. I don’t
understand my life without her. My power of will seems to be gone. I
said to myself this morning, ‘I will write to my aunt; I won’t go back
to Mablethorpe House.’ Here I am in Mablethorpe House, with a mean
subterfuge to justify me to my own conscience. ‘I owe it to my aunt to
call on my aunt.’ That is what I said to myself on the way here; and I
was secretly hoping every step of the way that she would come into the
room when I got here. I am hoping it now. And she is engaged to Horace
Holmcroft--to my oldest friend, to my best friend! Am I an infernal
rascal? or am I a weak fool? God knows--I don’t. Keep my secret, aunt.
I am heartily ashamed of myself; I used to think I was made of better
stuff than this. Don’t say a word to Horace. I must, and will, conquer
it. Let me go.”
He snatched up his hat. Lady Janet, rising with the activity of a young
woman, pursued him across the room, and stopped him at the door.
“No,” answered the resolute old lady, “I won’t let you go. Come back
with me.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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