Butler, Samuel, 1835-1902 -- Notebooks, sketchbooks, etc.
Briefly, in order to scotch that snake, my failure has not been so great
as people say it has. I believe my reputation stands well with the best
people. Granted that it makes no noise, but I have not been willing to
take the pains necessary to achieve what may be called guinea-pig review
success, because, although I have been in financial difficulties, I did
not seriously need success from a money point of view, and because I
hated the kind of people I should have had to court and kow-tow to if I
went in for that sort of thing. I could never have carried it through,
even if I had tried, and instinctively declined to try. A man cannot be
said to have failed, because he did not get what he did not try for.
What I did try for I believe I have got as fully as any reasonable man
can expect, and I have every hope that I shall get it still more both so
long as I live and after I am dead.
If, however, people mean that I am to explain how it is I have not made
more noise in spite of my own indolence in matter, the answer is that
those who do not either push the themselves into noise, or give some one
else a substantial interest in pushing them, never do get made a noise
about. How can they? I was too lazy to go about from publisher to
publisher and to decline to publish a book myself if I could not find
some one to speculate in it. I could take any amount of trouble about
writing a book but, so long as I could lay my hand on the money to bring
it out with, I found publishers’ antechambers so little to my taste that
I soon tired and fell back on the short and easy method of publishing my
book myself. Of course, therefore, it failed to sell. I know more about
these things now, and will never publish a book at my own risk again, or
at any rate I will send somebody else round the antechambers with it for
a good while before I pay for publishing it.
I should have liked notoriety and financial success well enough if they
could have been had for the asking, but I was not going to take any
trouble about them and, as a natural consequence, I did not get them. If
I had wanted them with the same passionate longing that has led me to
pursue every enquiry that I ever have pursued, I should have got them
fast enough. It is very rarely that I have failed to get what I have
really tried for and, as a matter of fact, I believe I have been a great
deal happier for not trying than I should have been if I had had
notoriety thrust upon me.
I confess I should like my books to pay their expenses and put me a
little in pocket besides—because I want to do more for Alfred than I see
my way to doing. As a natural consequence of beginning to care I have
begun to take pains, and am advising with the Society of Authors as to
what will be my best course. Very likely they can do nothing for me, but
at any rate I shall have tried.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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