“Arnold, why dost thou strive with me since I am much wiser? Did not I see his leg before the wicket and rightly declare him to be out? Thee, then, has Zeus now punished according to thy deserts and I will seek some other umpire of the game equally-participated-in-by-both-sides.” And in it he placed the Cam and many boats equally rowed on both sides were going up and down on the bosom of the deep rolling river and the coxswains were cheering on the men, for they were going to enter the contest of the scratchean fours; and three men were rowing together in a boat, strong and stout and determined in their hearts that they would either first break a blood vessel or earn for themselves the electroplated-Birmingham-manufactured magnificence of a pewter to stand on their ball tables in memorial of their strength, and from time to time drink from it the exhilarating streams of beer whensoever their dear heart should compel them; but the fourth was weak and unequally matched with the others and the coxswain was encouraging him and called him by name and spake cheering words: “Smith, when thou hast begun the contest, be not flurried nor strive too hard against thy fate, look at the back of the man before thee and row with as much strength as the Fates spun out for thee on the day when thou fellest between the knees of thy mother, neither lose thine oar, but hold it tight with thy hands.” iii—The Two Deans _Scene_: _The Court of St. John’s College_, _Cambridge_. _Enter the two deans on their way to morning chapel_. JUNIOR DEAN: Brother, I am much pleased with Samuel Butler, I have observed him mightily of late; Methinks that in his melancholy walk And air subdued when’er he meeteth me Lurks something more than in most other men. SENIOR DEAN: It is a good young man. I do bethink me That once I walked behind him in the cloister, He saw me not, but whispered to his fellow: “Of all men who do dwell beneath the moon I love and reverence most the senior Dean.” JUNIOR DEAN: One thing is passing strange, and yet I know not How to condemn it; but in one plain brief word He never comes to Sunday morning chapel. Methinks he teacheth in some Sunday school, Feeding the poor and starveling intellect With wholesome knowledge, or on the Sabbath morn He loves the country and the neighbouring spire Of Madingley or Coton, or perchance Amid some humble poor he spends the day Conversing with them, learning all their cares, Comforting them and easing them in sickness. Oh ’tis a rare young man! SENIOR DEAN: I will advance him to some public post, He shall be chapel clerk, some day a fellow, Some day perhaps a Dean, but as thou sayst He is indeed an excellent young man— _Enter Butler suddenly without a coat_, _or anything on his head_, _rushing through the cloisters_, _bearing a cup_, _a bottle of cider_, _four lemons_, _two nutmegs_, _half a pound of sugar and a nutmeg grater_.