The O'Donoghue: Tale of Ireland Fifty Years AgoLever, Charles
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The O'Donoghue: Tale of Ireland Fifty Years Ago
Lever, Charles
Ireland -- Fiction
There was a time when he would not have stooped to such a course;
but then he was rich--rich in the world's wealth, and the honour such
affluence suggests; for, alas! humbling as the avowal may seem, the
noble traits so often admired in prosperity, are but the promptings of a
spirit revelling in its own enjoyment--open-handed and generous, because
these qualities are luxuries; free to give, because the giving involves
gratitude; and gratitude is the incense of weakness to power--of
poverty to wealth. How often are the warm affections, nurtured by
happy circumstances, mistaken for the evidence of right principles! How
frequently are the pleasurable impulses of the heart confounded with the
well-directed judgments of the mind? This man was less changed than he
knew of--the world of his circumstances was, indeed, different, but he
was little altered; the same selfishness that once made him munificent,
now made him mean; but, whether conferring or accepting favours, the
spirit was one.
Besides, how ingenious is the mind in suggesting plausible reasons for
its indulgences!--how naturally easy did it seem to borrow and repay!
The very words satisfied his scruples on that score; but if he were
indeed so contented with himself, why did he fear lest any one should
ever learn the circumstance? Why cower with shame before himself, to
think of his brother-in-law, or even Mark hearing of it? Were these
the signs of conscious rectitude, or were they the evidence of a spirit
seeking rest in casuistry and self-deception. In this conflict of
alternate approval and condemnation, he passed the greater part of the
night--sometimes, a struggling sense of honour, urging him to regret a
course so fraught with humiliations of every kind; and again, a thrill
of delight would run through his heart to think of all the pleasure he
could confer upon his favourite boy--the indulgences he could once more
shower upon him. He fancied the happiness of emancipation from pressing
difficulties, and how instinctively Mark's buoyant temper would take the
tone of their altered fortunes; and he, once again, become the gay and
reckless youth he loved to see him.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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