Adventure stories; England -- Social life and customs -- 18th century -- Fiction; Irish -- England -- Fiction
I went to my pack on the horse and took out a bottle and a leather
cup. Paddy drank and smacked his lips with an ecstasy that gave us
hope for his ultimate recovery. Jem Bottles laughed, and to close his
mouth I gave him also some of the wine.
"I hope," said Father Donovan with indignation, "that the miscreant
who misused you will be caught and punished."
"I punished them," said Jem, drawing the back of his hand across his
mouth.
"We'll hear about it another time," said I, having my suspicions.
"Let the good man go on," begged Father Donovan, who is not without
human curiosity.
Jem needed no second bidding.
"Your Reverence," he said, "I was jogging quietly on as a decent man
should, when, coming to the edge of this forest, I saw approach me a
party of horsemen, who were very hilarious and laughed loudly. If you
look up and down the road and see how lonely it is, and then look at
the wood, with no hedge between it and the highway, you'll notice the
place was designed by Providence for such a meeting."
"Sure the public road is designed as a place for travellers to meet,"
said the father, somewhat bewildered by the harangue.
"Your Reverence is right, but this place could not afford better
accommodation if I had made it myself. I struck into the wood before
they saw me, tore the black lining from my hat, punched two holes in
it for the eyes, and tied it around my forehead, letting it hang down
over my face; then I primed my two pistols and waited for the
gentlemen. When they were nearly opposite, a touch of the heels to my
horse's flank was enough, and out he sprang into the middle of the
road.
"'Stand and deliver!' I cried, pointing the pistols at them, the words
coming as glibly to my lips as if I had said them no later ago than
yesterday. 'Stand and deliver, ye--'" and here Jem glibly rattled out
a stream of profane appellatives which was disgraceful to listen to.
"Tut, tut, Jem," I said, "you shouldn't speak like that. Any way we'll
hear the rest another time."
"That's what I called them, sir," said Jem, turning to me with
surprise, "you surely would not have me tell an untruth."
"I wouldn't have you tell anything. Keep quiet. Father Donovan is not
interested in your recital."
"I beg your pardon, O'Ruddy," said Father Donovan, looking at me
reproachfully; "but I am very much interested in this man's
narrative."
"As any good man should be," continued Jem, "for these were arrant
scoundrels; one of them I knew, and his name is Doctor Chord. He fell
off his horse on the roadway at once and pleaded for mercy. I ordered
the others instantly to hold their hands above their heads, and they
did so, except one man who began fumbling in his holster, and then, to
show him what I could do with a pistol, I broke his wrist. At the
sound of the shot the horses began to plunge, nearly trampling Doctor
Chord into the dust.
"'Clasp your hands above your heads, ye--'"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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