Yes, something would have to be sacrificed. Somehow this obstacle must be
cleared out of Dicky's path. Juliet could not come to Dicky while he was
there. He did not ask himself why this should be, but accepted it as
fact. He then was the main obstacle to Dicky's happiness, to the
fulfilment of his great desire. Then he must go. But whither? And leave
Dicky--and leave Dicky!
Again for a spell the anguish woke within him, but it did not possess
him so overwhelmingly as before. He had begun to seek for a way out,
and though it was hard to find, the very act of seeking brought him
comfort. His own misery no longer occupied the forefront of his poor
groping brain.
He sat for a long, long time up there on the cliff while the
shadows lengthened and the day slowly died, turning the matter over
and over while the flame of sacrifice gradually kindled in the
darkness of his soul.
It was probably the growth of many hours of not too coherent
meditation--the solution of that problem; but it came upon him very
suddenly at the last, almost like the swift wheeling of a flashlight over
the calm night sea.
He had heard the church clock strike in the distance, and was turning to
leave when that first vision of Juliet swooped back upon him--Juliet in
her light linen dress springing up the path towards him. He saw her as
she had stood there, leaving the path behind her, poised like a young
goddess against the dazzling blue of the spring sky. Her face had been
stern at first, but all the sternness had gone into an amazing kindness
of compassion when her look had lighted upon him. She had not shrunk from
him as shrank so many. And then--and then--he remembered the sudden fear,
the sharp anxiety, that had succeeded that first look of pity.
He had been standing on the brink of the cliff as he had stood many a
time before--as he stood now. That cliff had been the tragedy of his
ruined life. And yet he loved it, had never known any fear of it. But she
had been afraid for his sake. He had seen the fear leap into her eyes.
And the memory of it came to him now as a revelation. He had found the
way of escape at last!
The sea was crooning behind him over the half-buried rocks. He stood
again on the brink with his poor worn face turned to the sky. He had come
to the end of his reasoning. The tired brain had ceased to grapple with
the cruel problem that had so tortured it. He knew now what he would do
to help Dicky. And somehow the doing did not seem hard to him, somehow he
did not feel afraid.
One step back and the cliff fell away behind him. Yet for a space he went
neither forward nor back. It was as though he waited for a word of
command, some signal for release. The first star was gleaming very far
away like a lamp lighted in a distant city. His eyes found it and dwelt
upon it with a wistful wonder. He had always loved the stars.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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