"That sort of thing doesn't tire me," he said. "There's no difficulty
about it when it goes with a swing and everybody is out to make it a
success. I shall get you to sing next time."
She shook her head. "I'm afraid not, Mr. Green."
"Why not?" He turned and looked at her again, his hand shading his eyes.
She hesitated.
"Do you mind telling me?" he said gently. "There is a reason of course?"
"Yes." Yet she smoked her cigarette in silence after the word as though
there were nothing more to be said.
He sat motionless, still with his hand over his eyes. At last "Juliet,"
he said, his voice very low, "am I being--a nuisance to you?"
She looked at him swiftly. He had uttered the name so spontaneously that
she wondered if he realized that he had made use of it.
He went on before she could find words to answer him. "I'm not a bounder.
At least I hope not. But--yesterday--last night--I hadn't got such a
firm hold on myself as usual. I began by being furiously angry--you
remember the episode at the gate--and that weakened my self-control.
Then--when I knew you were standing there listening--temptation came to
me, and I hadn't the strength to resist. You knew, didn't you? You
understood?"
She nodded mutely.
"Will you forgive me?" he said.
She was silent. How could she tell him what that wild passion of music
had done to her?
He went on after a moment. "I hope you'll try anyway, because I never
meant to offend you. Only somehow I felt possessed. I had to reach
you--or die. But I didn't mean to hurt you. My dear, you do believe that,
don't you? My love is more than a selfish craving. I can do without you.
I will--since I must. But I shall go on loving you--all my life."
His voice was still very low, but it had steadied. He spoke with the
strong purpose of a man secure in his own self-mastery. He loved her, but
he made no demand upon her. He recognized that his love entitled him to
no claim. He even asked her forgiveness for having revealed it to her.
And suddenly the hot tears welled again in Juliet's eyes. She could not
speak in answer, but in a moment she stretched her hand to his.
He took it and held it close. "Don't cry!" he said gently. "I'm not
worth it. I've been a fool--no, not a fool to love you, but a three
times idiot to lose hold of myself like this. There! It's over. I'm not
going to bother you any more. And you're not going to let yourself be
bothered. What? You're not going to run away because of me, are you?
Promise me you won't!"
Her fingers closed upon his. It was almost involuntarily. "I don't think
I ought to stay," she whispered.
"I knew that was it!" He bent towards her. "Juliet! I say, please, dear,
please! If one of us must go, it must be I. But there is no need. Believe
me, there is no need. I've got myself in hand. I won't come near you--I
swear--if you don't wish it."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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