Sir,--I am one of those unhappy persons whose misfortunes, it seems, do
not entitle them to the benefit of pure pity. All that is bestowed upon
me of that kindest alleviator of human miseries, comes dashed with a
double portion of contempt. My griefs have nothing in them that is felt
as sacred by the bystanders. Yet is my affliction, in truth, of the
deepest grain. The heaviest task that was ever given to mortal patience
to sustain. Time, that wears out all other sorrows, can never modify or
soften mine. Here they must continue to gnaw.
* London, 1810.
Why was I ever born? Why was innocence in my person suffered to be
branded with a stain which was appointed only for the blackest guilt?
What had I done, or my parents, that a disgrace of mine should involve a
whole posterity in infamy? I am almost tempted to believe, that, in some
preexistent state, crimes to which this sublunary life of mine hath been
as much a stranger as the babe that is newly born into it, have drawn
down upon me this vengeance, so disproportionate to my actions on this
globe.
My brain sickens, and my bosom labours to be delivered of the weight
that presses upon it, yet my conscious pen shrinks from the avowal. But
out it must--
O, Mr. Reflector! guess at the wretch’s misery who now writes this to
you, when, with tears and burning blushes, he is obliged to confess,
that he has been--<b>Hanged</b>-
Methinks I hear an involuntary exclamation burst from you, as your
imagination presents to you fearful images of your correspondent,
unknown,--_hanged!_
Fear not, Mr. Editor. No disembodied spirit has the honour of addressing
you. I am flesh and blood, an unfortunate system of bones, muscles,
sinews, arteries, like yourself.
_Then, I presume, you mean to be pleasant. That expression of yours, Mr.
Correspondent, must be taken somehow in a metaphorical sense_.
In the plainest sense, without trope or figure. Yes, Mr. Editor, this
neck of mine has felt the fatal noose,--these hands have tremblingly
held up the corroborative prayer-book,--these lips have sucked the
moisture of the last consolatory orange,--this tongue has chaunted the
doleful cantata which no performer was ever called upon to repeat,--this
face has had the veiling night-cap drawn over it.
But for no crime of mine. Far be it from me to arraign the justice of my
country, which, though tardy, did at length recognize my innocence. It
is not for me to reflect upon the judge or jury, now that eleven years
have elapsed since the erroneous sentence was pronounced. Men will
always be fallible, and perhaps circumstances did appear at the time a
little strong--
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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