Humorous stories; Man-woman relationships -- Fiction; Marriage -- Fiction; Single women -- Fiction
Contemporaneously with the execution of one side of the Plan of
Campaign, the Society was working the supplementary side. Day and night,
week-days and Sundays, in season and out, these six gentlemen praised
themselves and one another, or got themselves and one another praised by
non-members. There are many ways in which you can praise an author, from
blame downwards. There is the puff categorical and the puff allusive,
the lie direct and the eulogy insinuative, the downright abuse and the
subtle innuendo, the exaltation of your man or the depression of his
rival. The attacking method of log-rolling must not be confounded with
depreciation. In their outside campaign, the members used every variety
of puff, but depreciation was strictly reserved for their private
gatherings. For this was the wisdom of the Club, and herein lay its
immense superiority over every other log-rolling club, that whereas in
those childish cliques every man is expected to admire every other, or
to say so, in the Mutual Depreciation Society the obligation was all the
other way. Every man was bound by the rules to sneer at the work of his
fellow-members and, if he should happen to admire any of it, at least to
have the grace to keep his feelings to himself. In practice, however,
the latter contingency never arose, and each was able honestly to
express all he thought, for it is impossible for men to work together
for a common object without discovering that they do not deserve to get
it. Needless to point out how this sagacious provision strengthened them
in their campaign, for not having to keep up the tension of mutual
admiration, and being able to relax and breathe (and express themselves)
freely at their monthly symposia, as well as to slang one another in the
street, they were able to write one another up with a clear conscience.
It is well to found on human nature. Every other basis proves shifting
sand. The success of the Mutual Depreciation Society justified their
belief in human nature.
Not only did they depreciate one another, but they made reparation to
the non-members they were always trying to write down during business
hours, by eulogizing them in the most generous manner in those blessed
hours of leisure when knife answers fork and soul speaks to soul. At
such times even popular authors were allowed to have a little merit.
It was at one of these periods of soul-expansion, when the most
petty-souled feels inclined to loosen the last two buttons of his
waistcoat, that the idea of the English Shakespeare was first mooted.
But we are anticipating, which is imprudent, as anticipations are seldom
realized.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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