Humorous stories; Man-woman relationships -- Fiction; Marriage -- Fiction; Single women -- Fiction
It is said that the shepherd knows every sheep of his flock
individually, and that a superintendent can tell one policeman from
another. Some music-hall managers even profess to distinguish between
one pair of singing sisters and all the other pairs. But even the most
trained eye would be puzzled to detect any difference between these two
lovely young creatures. They were as like as two peas or two cues, or
the two gentlemen who mount and descend together the mirror-lined
staircase of a restaurant. Interrogated as to the motives of their
would-be renunciation, one of them replied: "My sister and myself are
twins. We were born so. When the news was announced to our father, he is
reported to have exclaimed, 'What a misfortune!' His sympathy was not
misplaced, for from our nursery days upward our perfect resemblance to
each other has brought us perpetual annoyance. Do what we would, we
never could never get mistaken for each other. The pleasing delusion
that either of us would be saddled with the misdeeds of the other has
got us into scrapes without number. At school we each played all sorts
of pranks, making sure the other would be punished for them. Alas! the
consequences have always recoiled on the head of the guilty party. We
were not even whipped for neglecting each other's lessons. It was always
for neglecting our own. But in spite of the stern refusal of experience
to favor us with the usual imbroglio, we always went on hoping that the
luck would turn. We read Shakespeare's _Comedy of Errors_, and that
confirmed us in our evil courses. When we grew up, it would be hard to
say which was the giddier, for each hoped that the other would have to
bear the burden of her escapades. You will have gathered from our
friskiness that our parents were strict Puritans, but at last they
allowed an eligible young curate to visit the house with a view to
matrimony. He was too good for us; our parents were as much as we wanted
in that line. Unfortunately, in this crisis, unknown to each other, the
old temptation seized us. Each felt it a unique chance of trying if the
thing wouldn't work. When the other was out of the room, each made love
to the unwelcome suitor so as to make him fall in love with her sister.
Wretched victims of mendacious farce-writers! The result was that he
fell in love with us both!"
She paused a moment overcome with emotion, then resumed. "He proposed to
us both simultaneously, vowed he could not live without us. He exclaimed
passionately that he could not be happy with either were t'other dear
charmer away. He said he was ready to become a Mormon for love of us."
[Illustration: _He was willing to become a Mormon._]
"And what was your reply?" said Lillie anxiously.
The fresh young voices broke out into a duet: "We told him to ask papa."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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