The Old Tobacco Shop: A True Account of What Befell a Little Boy in Search of AdventureBowen, William
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The Old Tobacco Shop: A True Account of What Befell a Little Boy in Search of Adventure
Bowen, William
Fantasy literature
"However, I do not wish you to feel too keenly the trouble you are
putting us to; my brave lads will cheerfully put up with the
inconvenience, though I must confess the amount of blood will be quite
unusual, and so many bodies will be troublesome to bury. I wish it were
possible to have you walk the plank. However, pray do not bother too
much on our account."
"We weren't thinking about you at all," said Toby. "We were thinking
about ourselves."
"Oh," said Captain Lingo, in a tone of disappointment. "I beg your
pardon; I misunderstood. At any rate, we will now prepare for our little
ceremony. If there are any trifling articles of jewelry and the like, I
will be pleased to----"
"But this boy!" cried Toby. "And this lady! You don't mean to--you can't
mean----"
"Not for worlds," said Captain Lingo, "would I be rude to a lady. I
trust you will find my conduct towards the lady beyond reproach. There
shall be no rudeness of any kind. Merely a quick stroke, and all will be
over. No violence, no roughness of any kind; not a word to offend the
most sensitive ears. A single stroke, and the affair is done. And let me
tell you, I have here with me a Practitioner who is very expert in this
sort of business: our friend Ketch, in fact, who was so kind as to wet
the handkerchief for the lady. I assure you that you are in great luck
to fall into the hands of such a Practitioner; he will make it as
pleasant for you as possible; one stroke only, I promise you. With one
stroke of a cutlass, he is able to slice off a head as neatly as you
could do it with a broadaxe; there are very few who can do it with a
cutlass, let me tell you that. Many men have become famous by being
operated on by Ketch. I remember a case--However," he said, looking
about him as if considering something, and speaking rather to himself
than to the others, "it would be difficult to bury the bodies here, and
the light is not very good. I think, yes, I think it had better be done
outside. You are already wet, and I trust that another immersion will
not inconvenience you too much. Lads," he said to his six men, "put on
the rubber suits, and help our friends under the fall. Look alive, now."
The six men immediately ran to their rubber suits and began to put them
on. While they were doing this, Toby put one arm about Freddie and the
other about Aunt Amanda. She lowered her head to his shoulder for a
moment, but she soon raised it, and standing very erect she said, "Very
well, if it must be, it must. It's easy to see that this bloodthirsty
villain means every word he says; but I ain't going to whimper; I'm the
captain, and I order that everybody keep up his courage, and wait and
see what will happen."
"Ay, ay, ma'am," said the Churchwarden.
"Do you know," whispered the Old Codger with the Wooden Leg, "I believe
that we are in a good deal of--er--danger."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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