The old vicarage : $b A novelHubback, Mrs. (Catherine-Anne Austen)
General
The old vicarage : $b A novel
Hubback, Mrs. (Catherine-Anne Austen)
English fiction -- 19th century
“I can not leave England, and quit for an indefinite time
the spot which contains all that is dearest on earth to me,
without one more attempt to avert the necessity of
separation from you; one more endeavor to soften an
indifference which occasions me so intense a regret. Dearest
Miss Duncan, I fear, in my efforts for your father’s
benefit, I have increased your sorrow, have deepened and
aggravated the wounds, from which your loving heart was
already so acutely aching. Forgive me the deed for the
intention; may I suggest that, however bitter was the pang
of disappointment, it must be less severe than would
hereafter be the misery of self-reproach, had you neglected
any means which might have alleviated his affliction? Your
pale face of suffering, self-command, and fortitude is ever
before me; I longed intensely yesterday to speak words of
sympathy and affection; my heart was yearning to pour out
its passionate pity for your agony――but I might not――I whose
love for you is, oh, so deep! so pure, so strong! I was
forced to be silent, or to breathe only calm sentences of
courteous regard, and polite, well-bred, decorous
compassion. Do not be angry with me for putting on paper the
feeling I can not hope to express otherwise; condescend to
read and give some attention to what I say. Must I leave you
now, with this sad destiny closing darkly round you! leave
you to struggle alone, to toil beyond your strength, to
sacrifice yourself in the melancholy fate that awaits you!
Do you think I can contemplate such a conclusion with
calmness? Oh, no! it is agony to me to dwell upon the idea,
which haunts me night and day. Beloved, excellent, adorable
Hilary, you have an angel’s spirit in an angel form, but
your strength, alas! is mortal, and well I know that rest
and comfort for yourself will be your last thought, while
your services of love are poured out on the helpless ones
around you. May I tell you what is my dream, my vision of
bliss? I fancy I see you all transported to ‘the Ferns,’
your younger sisters making joyous with their bright
presence the dreary walls of the old house, and causing
their empty chambers to echo to their merry voices; there I
see them in idea, growing up under every advantage which can
be procured by love and wealth united; proper attendants,
masters, literature, enjoyments in doors and out, every
taste developed, every talent cultivated to the utmost. I
see your dear parent, too, enjoying under the same roof
every blessing and comfort which perfect filial love and
unbounded power could shower on him――every compensation for
this new affliction which could assist to lighten the
burden, and brighten the remainder of his path through life.
And there I see, reigning supreme over all, with all the
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account