How strange is destiny. I looked back upon the weeks spent, not so very long ago, beside this girl. I had not had an inkling, then, of what she was to be to me. How fantastic it seemed that I should be beholden to that brutal separation. How near I had come to neglecting happiness! But for the War----! I dared to look this terrible truth in the face. Thus are hearts tempered anew. I had had to undergo the dread ordeal by fire, which consumes the greater number, whence a few issue, purified. CHAPTER IV THE AWAKENING Such was the dream I lived in. To-day, when I go over that time in retrospect, I ask myself whether I did not experience any anxiety. Not the least. Not for an instant did I see my sky overcast. I was harshly undeceived on one point though. In using it I found out how second-rate the English article was. It answered the purpose all right as long as I kept still, but light as it seemed it was necessary to exert my hip to work it, which made me walk with a kind of unsightly swing and very quickly tired me. I got into the habit of going out during the best hours of the day while the fine weather lasted. Once outside, I walked slowly, putting on the air of a loiterer. As uninitiated passers-by might well think I was merely slightly lame, I now had to be doubly vigilant about avoiding the least contact with the crowd. Alas! I was very unsteady; twice I nearly fell when someone bumped into me, and people did not apologise; the mufti I had taken to again seemed to rob me of the right to any consideration. Who would believe that I almost got as far as to regret the wooden stump? My last hopes were fixed on the American firm. I congratulated myself upon not having cancelled my order. A fellow-sufferer had just been introduced to me, who had been supplied with a leg by them, and I marvelled at his young and supple carriage. Why did I make a point of telling Jeannine of my disillusionment? Perhaps in order to get the answer, "What are you worrying about?" With ambitious coquetry I boasted in advance of the wonders expected from the other firm. The reply was delayed for six days, and when it came was only four pages. The Landrys were putting the finishing touch to their preparations. There was not a single allusion to my infirmity, which I had told her was well on the way to being cured. No doubt she had made a rule never to broach the subject. Having once and for all given me proof of her tender pity she wished thenceforward to spare me the humiliation of feeling that she even thought of it. Some days slipped by. I had written to her again in an affectionate tone. Though tempted to give her to understand that it would be less painful to show myself to her in a fortnight's time, I refrained from making such a mistake. That was a secondary matter. Only let her come! let her come! Oh, my love!