The Ordeal of Richard Feverel: A History of a Father and SonMeredith, George
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The Ordeal of Richard Feverel: A History of a Father and Son
Meredith, George
Domestic fiction; England -- Fiction; Fathers and sons -- Fiction
"Well, when I recovered I thought I did not care for her. It shows
how we know ourselves! And I cared for nothing. I felt as if I had
no blood. I tried to imitate my dear Austin. I wish to God he were
here. I love Austin. He would understand her. He's coming back this
year, and then--but it'll be too late then.--Well, my father's
always scheming to make me perfect--he has never spoken to me a word
about her, but I can see her in his eyes--he wanted to give me a
change, he said, and asked me to come to town with my uncle Hippy,
and I consented. It was another plot to get me out of the way! As I
live, I had no more idea of meeting her than of flying to heaven!"
He lifted his face. "Look at those old elm branches! How they seem
to mix among the stars!--glittering; fruits of Winter!"
Ripton tipped his comical nose upward, and was in duty bound to say,
Yes! though he observed no connection between them and the
narrative.
"Well," the hero went on, "I came to town. There I heard she was
coming, too--coming home. It must have been fate, Ripton! Heaven
forgive me! I was angry with her, and I thought I should like to see
her once--only once--and reproach her for being false--for she never
wrote to me. And, oh, the dear angel! what she must have
suffered!--I gave my uncle the slip, and got to the railway she was
coming by. There was a fellow going to meet her--a farmer's
son--and, good God! they were going to try and make her marry him! I
remembered it all then. A servant of the farm had told me. That
fellow went to the wrong station, I suppose, for we saw nothing of
him. There she was--not changed a bit!--looking lovelier than ever!
And when she saw me, I knew in a minute that she must love me till
death!--You don't know what it is yet, Rip!--Will you believe
it?--Though I was as sure she loved me and had been true as steel,
as that I shall see her to-night, I spoke bitterly to her. And she
bore it meekly--she looked like a saint. I told her there was but
one hope of life for me--she must prove she was true, and as I give
up all, so must she. I don't know what I said. The thought of losing
her made me mad. She tried to plead with me to wait--it was for my
sake, I know. I pretended, like a miserable hypocrite, that she did
not love me at all. I think I said shameful things. Oh what noble
creatures women are! She hardly had strength to move. I took her to
that place where you found us.--Rip! she went down on her knees to
me. I never dreamed of anything in life so lovely as she looked
then. Her eyes were thrown up, bright with a crowd of tears--her
dark brows bent together, like Pain and Beauty meeting in one; and
her glorious golden hair swept off her shoulders as she hung forward
to my hands.--Could I lose such a prize?--If anything could have
persuaded me, would not that?--I thought of Dante's Madonna--Guido's
Magdalen.--Is there sin in it? I see none! And if there is, it's all
mine! I swear she's spotless of a thought of sin. I see her very
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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