The Ordeal of Richard Feverel: A History of a Father and SonMeredith, George
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The Ordeal of Richard Feverel: A History of a Father and Son
Meredith, George
Domestic fiction; England -- Fiction; Fathers and sons -- Fiction
It was thus that a fine mind and a fine heart at the bounds of a
nature not great, chose to colour his retrogression and countenance
his shortcoming; and it was thus that he set about ruining the work
he had done. He might well say, as he once did, that there are hours
when the clearest soul becomes a cunning fox. For a grief that was
private and peculiar, he unhesitatingly cast the blame upon
humanity; just as he had accused it in the period of what he termed
his own ordeal. How had he borne that? By masking his face. And he
prepared the ordeal for his son by doing the same. This was by no
means his idea of a man's duty in tribulation, about which he could
be strenuously eloquent. But it was his instinct so to act, and in
times of trial great natures alone are not at the mercy of their
instincts. Moreover it would cost him pain to mask his face; pain
worse than that he endured when there still remained an object for
him to open his heart to in proportion; and he always reposed upon
the Spartan comfort of bearing pain and being passive. "Do nothing,"
said the devil he nursed; which meant in his case, "Take me into you
and don't cast me out." Excellent and sane is the outburst of wrath
to men, when it stops short of slaughter. For who that locks it up
to eat in solitary, can say that it is consumed? Sir Austin had as
weak a digestion for wrath, as poor Hippias for a green duckling.
Instead of eating it, it ate him. The wild beast in him was not the
less deadly because it did not roar, and the devil in him not the
less active because he resolved to do nothing.
He sat at the springs of Richard's future, in the forlorn dead-hush
of his library there, hearing the cinders click in the extinguished
fire, and that humming stillness in which one may fancy one hears
the midnight Fates busily stirring their embryos. The lamp glowed
mildly on the bust of Chatham.
Toward morning a gentle knock fell at his door. Lady Blandish glided
in. With hasty step she came straight to him, and took both his
hands.
"My friend," she said, speaking tearfully, and trembling, "I feared
I should find you here. I could not sleep. How is it with you?"
"Well! Emmeline, well!" he replied, torturing his brows to fix the
mask.
He wished it had been Adrian who had come to him. He had an
extraordinary longing for Adrian's society. He knew that the wise
youth would divine how to treat him, and he mentally confessed to
just enough weakness to demand a certain kind of management.
Besides, Adrian, he had not a doubt, would accept him entirely as he
seemed, and not pester him in any way by trying to unlock his heart;
whereas a woman, he feared, would be waxing too womanly, and
swelling from tears and supplications to a scene, of all things
abhorred by him the most. So he rapped the floor with his foot, and
gave the lady no very welcome face when he said it was well with
him.
She sat down by his side, still holding one hand firmly, and softly
detaining the other.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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