The Ordeal of Richard Feverel: A History of a Father and SonMeredith, George
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The Ordeal of Richard Feverel: A History of a Father and Son
Meredith, George
Domestic fiction; England -- Fiction; Fathers and sons -- Fiction
All night Richard tossed on his bed with his heart in a rapid
canter, and his brain bestriding it, traversing the rich untasted
world, and the great Realm of Mystery, from which he was now
restrained no longer. Months he had wandered about the gates of the
Bonnet, wondering, sighing, knocking at them, and getting neither
admittance nor answer. He had the key now. His own father had given
it to him. His heart was a lightning steed, and bore him on and on
over limitless regions bathed in super-human beauty and strangeness,
where cavaliers and ladies leaned whispering upon close green
swards, and knights and ladies cast a splendour upon savage forests,
and tilts and tourneys were held in golden courts lit to a glorious
day by ladies' eyes, one pair of which, dimly visioned, constantly
distinguishable, followed him through the boskage and dwelt upon him
in the press, beaming while he bent above a hand glittering white
and fragrant as the frosted blossom of a May night.
Awhile the heart would pause and flutter to a shock: he was in the
act of consummating all earthly bliss by pressing his lips to the
small white hand. Only to do that, and die! cried the Magnetic
Youth: to fling the Jewel of Life into that one cup and drink it
off! He was intoxicated by anticipation. For that he was born.
There was, then, some end in existence, something to live for! to
kiss a woman's hand, and die! He would leap from the couch, and rush
to pen and paper to relieve his swarming sensations. Scarce was he
seated when the pen was dashed aside, the paper sent flying with the
exclamation, "Have I not sworn I would never write again?" Sir
Austin had shut that safety-valve. The nonsense that was in the
youth might have poured harmlessly out, and its urgency for
ebullition was so great that he was repeatedly oblivious of his
oath, and found himself seated under the lamp in the act of
composition before pride could speak a word. Possibly the pride even
of Richard Feverel had been swamped if the act of composition were
easy at such a time, and a single idea could stand clearly foremost;
but myriads were demanding the first place; chaotic hosts, like
ranks of stormy billows, pressed impetuously for expression, and
despair of reducing them to form, quite as much as pride, to which
it pleased him to refer his incapacity, threw down the powerless
pen, and sent him panting to his outstretched length and another
headlong career through the rosy-girdled land.
Toward morning the madness of the fever abated somewhat, and he went
forth into the air. A lamp was still burning in his father's room,
and Richard thought, as he looked up, that he saw the ever-vigilant
head on the watch. Instantly the lamp was extinguished, the window
stood cold against the hues of dawn.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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