The Ordeal of Richard Feverel — CompleteMeredith, George
General
The Ordeal of Richard Feverel — Complete
Meredith, George
Domestic fiction; England -- Fiction; English fiction -- 19th century; Fathers and sons -- Fiction
They say, that when the skill and care of men rescue a drowned wretch
from extinction, and warm the flickering spirit into steady flame, such
pain it is, the blood forcing its way along the dry channels, and the
heavily-ticking nerves, and the sullen heart—the struggle of life and
death in him—grim death relaxing his gripe; such pain it is, he cries
out no thanks to them that pull him by inches from the depths of the
dead river. And he who has thought a love extinct, and is surprised by
the old fires, and the old tyranny, he rebels, and strives to fight
clear of the cloud of forgotten sensations that settle on him; such
pain it is, the old sweet music reviving through his frame, and the
charm of his passion filing him afresh. Still was fair Lucy the one
woman to Richard. He had forbidden her name but from an instinct of
self-defence. Must the maids of baser metal dominate him anew, it is in
Lucy’s shape. Thinking of her now so near him—his darling! all her
graces, her sweetness, her truth; for, despite his bitter blame of her,
he knew her true—swam in a thousand visions before his eyes; visions
pathetic, and full of glory, that now wrung his heart, and now elated
it. As well might a ship attempt to calm the sea, as this young man the
violent emotion that began to rage in his breast. “I shall not see
her!” he said to himself exultingly, and at the same instant thought,
how black was every corner of the earth but that one spot where Lucy
stood! how utterly cheerless the place he was going to! Then he
determined to bear it; to live in darkness; there was a refuge in the
idea of a voluntary martyrdom. “For if I chose I could see her—this day
within an hour!—I could see her, and touch her hand, and, oh,
heaven!—But I do not choose.” And a great wave swelled through him, and
was crushed down only to swell again more stormily.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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