The great man turned pantingly round, and says he: "Ah, my friend, I cannot get my umbrella into the house. I've been trying for half an hour to wedge it through the door, but I can't get it through and know not how to act." The humble chap stood under a gas-light, my boy, and by the gleams thereof his mouth was observed to pucker loaferishly. "Hev you tried the experiment of _shutting up_ that air umbrella?" says he. The great man gave a start, and says he: "Per Jovem! I didn't think to do that." And he shut his umbrella and went in peacefully. The Conic Section was to make its great strategic movement, my boy, under Captain Bob Shorty; and, led by that fearless warrior, it set out at twilight. Onward tramped the heroes according to Hardee, for about an hour, and then they reached a queer-looking little house with a great deal of piazza and a very little ground-floor. With his cap cocked very much over one eye, Captain Bob Shorty knocked at the door, and was answered by a young maiden of about forty-two. "Hast seen any troops pass here of late?" asked Captain Bob Shorty, with much dignity. The Southern maiden, who was a First Family, sniffed indignantly, and says she: "I reckon not, poor hireling Hessian." "Forward--double-quick--march!" says Captain Bob Shorty, with much vehemence; "that ere young woman has been eating onions." Onward, right onward through the darkness, went the Conic Section of the Mackerel Brigade, eager to engage the rebel foe and work out the genius of strategy. Half an hour, and another house was reached. In response to the captain's knock a son of chivalry stuck his head out of a window, and says he: "There's nobody at home." "Peace, ignoramius!" says Captain Bob Shorty, majestically; "the United States of America wishes to know if you have seen any troops go by to-night." "Yes," says the chivalry, "my sister saw a company go by just now, I reckon." "Forward--double-quick--march!" says Captain Bob Shorty, "we can catch the Confederacy alive if we're quick enough." And now, my boy, the march was resumed with new vigor, for it was certain that the enemy was right in front, and might be strategically annihilated. A long time passed, however, without the discovery of a soul, and it was after midnight when the next house was gained. A small black contraband came to the door, and says he: "By gorry, mars'r sogerum, what you hab?" "Tell me, young Christy's minstrel," says Captain Bob Shorty, "have any troops passed here to-night?" The contraband turned a summerset, and says he: "Mars' and misses hab seen two companies dis berry night, so helpum God." "Forward--double-quick--march!" says Captain Bob Shorty. "Two companies is rather heavy for this here band of Spartans, but it is sweet to die for one's country."